Writers

Becky Lang, Creator

is a creative (copywriter) at Zeus Jones, a former entertainment editor and a fan of witty TV shows with a strong female lead, according to Netflix. She has quit several sports in her life, including soccer, dance, tennis, swimming, ice skating, volleyball, speedskating and taekwondo. Now she likes to draw pictures of wild animals, hipsters and dangerous weapons, drink whisky in various forms and at various places and feel sad about how many things she’s forgotten since college. You can check out her exploits on Twitter and Tumblr.

Jay Gabler, Founding Editor

is a digital producer at Minnesota Public Radio, editing and writing for the websites of the Current and Classical MPR. He wrote Sociology for Dummies, cowrote Reconstructing the University, and updated Insiders’ Guide to the Twin Cities. He contributes to Artforum.com. He’s on TwitterTumblr, and Instagram.

Katie Sisneros, Founding Editor

is a PhD student in English literature at the University of Minnesota Twin Cities. She is a Minneapolis transplant from Nebraska where she earned two English degrees at UNL before deciding to one-up herself at the U of M. She orders whiskey diets but won’t return it if she’s served a whiskey coke, and usually manages to get about 35% of the questions on Jeopardy right. She owns multiple copies of the complete works of Shakespeare, but not an iPad. Read her on Twitter and Tumblr.

Sarah Heuer, Editor:

is a community college professor of Philosophy. She has called Minneapolis home since she returned from a brief (and regrettable, she assures you) stint as an Iowan during grad school. Given her educational pursuits, if she was a DJ and/or rap video ho, her name would be Bioethixxx. She spends approximately 75% of her waking hours on GChat (hint, add her), regularly blogs as one half of phiLOLZophy and is known to post frequent self-depreciating overshares on her Twitter.

Jason Zabel, Editor:

is a hungry, hungry hippo. He is also City Editor of The A.V. Club Twin Cities. He raises several cats but refuses to be called a “cat person,” because he is not part feline. In 2009, he cried 27 times; in 2010, he cried only 3 times. You can follow his Twitter, or add the non-sensical and infrequently updated Idiot Quest Taste Explosion to your blogroll, if you insist on living in 2007.

Dunstan McGill

Dunstan McGill grew up in isolated wealth on a family-owned island off Maine, where he was kept constant solace by his confidant and riding horse, Aloysius. After graduating from an exclusive, private boy’s academy, he spent four years chasing pygmy goats in the mountainlands of New Guinea, before returning to the States, to accept the chairmanship of a gold-mining magnate, bequeathed to him by his dead father. He has since sold the company and spends his days strapped to a windsurf board, working on an unfinished memoir the New Yorker has already declared “an epic statement of letters–perhaps the last, best word on mankind we could hope for.” When he’s not avoiding the lurking eye of the British Press, Mr. McGill writes blog entries on blind dates at seedy, midwestern bowling alleys. The notorious, albeit fashion-savvy recluse has had a tempestuous on-again, off-again affair with an ex-Russian model/ballerina. He has no children. And he often plays himself to sleep at night, with Chopin on his white grand piano. Follow him on Twitter.

 

Heidi Thomasoni, Editor:

Heidi Thomasoni wishes she were a yuppie because she really likes their Wikipedia page. Unlike most gingers, Heidi once had a soul, but she sold it to a Native American kid for some beads and a poem about Orangina. (True Story.) She enjoys running, using parentheses, and drinking beer in the shower. Follow her blog here.

Emily Weiss, Editor:

Emily Weiss lives in Minneapolis and is the director of publicity for a media group. She writes sometimes on her food blog, less often for Twin Cities Daily Planet, and just a couple of times for The Hairpin, but it was cool because that’s how she met Becky Lang. She will probably talk your ear off if you ever meet IRL and mention any of the following: My Strange Addiction, small/out-of the way bakeries, doll houses, Anne of Green Gables, injury stories, Goodwill by the pound, Real Housewives of Anything, fears, pudding.

Staff writers:

Kelsey McDonough

Kelsey McDonough works in marketing, just like everybody else. She spends most days thinking of ways to consume more artificial sweetener, wasting her emotions on television shows and trying to avoid white-person-with-dreadlocks stereotypes. Follow her onTwitter and Tumblr.

Marcus Michalik

Marcus is back in his hometown of Roseville and on a really amazing journey of self-discovery called unemployment. He enjoys waving at animals on computer screens, beginning sentences with “You guys,” and dancing to songs released by Real Housewives. You can follow him on Tumblr and Twitter.

Chrissy Stockton

One of the two writers of the esteemed Philolzophy, a blog about theory, pop-culture, cats, vodka and pretending to do meth. Newly a Catholic. Host of the official Tangenitalia Ravetreat. Doesn’t like girls who bake.

Jay Boller

Jay Boller is the creator and editor of The Sport Hole and a lifelong beer coozie enthusiast. He loves hound dogs, hot dogs and horn dogs.

Katya Karaz

Katya Karaz grew up in Fargo, North Dakota. She’s not joking when she says that rural ND is her favorite place. A dual degree in English and Comm. conditioned her clerical duty skills to near perfection, and after college she moved to Minneapolis to work. As a new big city resident, she spends most of her free time lost in a labyrinth of exits and on-ramps, screaming and clutching her GPS with a white knuckle grip. When she’s not trapped in her car, she’s usually grocery shopping, mending holes she somehow tore in her clothing, cultivating senseless anxieties, faking it at the gym, nagging Petco staff to let her hold the kittens, or thinking about writing.

Lisa Olson

Lisa Olson holds a BA in art from the University of Minnesota, which is why she still works in retail for the time being. She is a lifelong nerd well-versed in many fandoms, and ships with seriousness. Her attention to detail has caused her father to call her “a malcontent” during arguments about The Walking Dead. She is not a good dancer, but an enthusiastic one. She would starve to death if takeout wasn’t a thing. She’s on Twitter and Tumblr.

Staff designer:

Caroline Royce

caroline

Caroline is our go-to book designer, having designed the cover for Future Cities and the identity for our upcoming book, Activitorium. She is a designer for l’etoile magazine, Jake Rudh’s Transmission and the Star Tribune. She spends a lot of time on Pinterest and Reddit, and takes Instagramming really seriously. She also listens to a lot of music and thinks Spotify is really special. Her cat, Arya, is the Best Cat

Contributing writers:

Charlie Acton

sample post: “What I Learned Working in a Call Center”

Jourdan Aldredge

sample post: “Jack Kerouac’s 30 Writing Essentials, Updated for 2012

Courtney Algeo

sample post: “Seven Things My Period Has Taught Me”

Stephanie Ann

sample post: “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love OkCupid”

Chris Bastedo

sample post: “Do It Yourself: The Masturbatosphere”

Matt Beachey

sample post: “Yes, Dog, You Totally Scared Me Away From Your Shit-Filed Yard”

Crispin Best

sample post: “What These Dogs Would Be Into If They Followed ‘The Handkerchief Code'”

Tim Brackett

sample post: “How the Replacements reunion made me feel like I finally belong to my generation”

Rachel Buckle

sample post: “The Inner Dialogue of a Tooth Fairy Standing By the Side of the Road Holding a Sign”

Amy Cannon

sample post: “Where You Shoulda Put a Ring”

Leah Carvell

sample post: “10 Things About Having a Stoma That They Never Tell You”

Jimmy Chen

sample post: “The Balls We Subconsciously See All Around Us”

Anne Christians

sample post: “Thoughts I Have While Listening to Lana Del Rey’s ‘Video Games'”

Felicity Cluff

sample post: “In Defence of Pyjamas”

Tamara DeLand

sample post: “Therapy Session at Starbucks”

Stephan Tully Dierks

sample post: “What Your Favorite Justin Bieber Song Says About You”

Sophie Dover

sample post: “If Reality TV Shows Were Sexual Fetishes”

Jeffrey Ellinger

sample post: “What These Texts Really Meant”

Eric Feldman

sample post: “An Appeal for Mercy From Your Ex-Girlfriend’s Toothbrush”

Ben Findlay

sample post: “Creating Online Dating Profiles for People I Don’t Like”

Dan Fleischhacker

sample post: “Simple Ways to Trick Your Co-Workers Into Liking, or At Least Fearing, You”

Linnea Goderstad

sample post: “Putting Food Network Hosts Under the Hogwarts Sorting Hat”

Katie Godfrey

sample post: “Country Wisdom from an Urban Foodie Turned Farmer”

Krista Goral

sample post: “Infographics: The Social Ecology of the Lumbersexual”

Sina Grace

sample post: That Time I Didn’t Buy SJPs

Louise Grann

sample post: Dear Generation Y Bride

Rachel Green

sample post: “When to Give Up on a Blow Job”

Isabelle Guaran

sample post: “Why Taylor Swift and I Don’t Have to Burn Our Bras”

Abby Charlotte Guthrie

sample post: “Spoonspeak: Introducing the Peculiar Into Post-Coital Conversations”

Alan Hanson

sample post: “Long-Term Effects of Unending Unemployment”

Joseph Harper

sample post: “My Hometown—Christchurch, New Zealand—Got Smashed in an Earthquake Today”

Jonathan Harris

sample post: “My Emoji Glossary”

Michael Inscoe

sample post: “Some of My Notable Romantic/Sexual Experiences [Ages 13-20]”

Regina Janesko

sample post: “The Ten Elements of Lesbian Dating”

John Jodzio

sample post: “I Only Have Sex with Ladies Named Jean”

Tom Johnson

sample post: “Play Twitpic Mash”

Mary Juhl

sample post: “Slutty Words of the English Language”

Josh Kangas

sample post: “The 10 Most Depressing Things About Being a Single, Straight, Male Cat Owner”

Ali Kehoe

sample post: “How to Assess a Potential Bro Hookup Based on How Many Bros He Brings to the Bar”

Fiona Kelliher

sample post: “What It Means To Be a Teenager Who Loves Classical Music”

Beck Kilkenny

sample post: “What’s Wrong With Florida?”

Andrea Klaassen

sample post: “Dear Daisy”

Patrick Kleckler

sample post: “What I Want You to Do to Me”

Kat Kluegel

sample post: “Dude Characteristics That I Fetishize”

Sophie Lane

sample post: “How to Give a Good Mercy Lay”

Lindsay Lelivelt

sample post: “Jersey Shore Finishing School”

Ana Lucchese

sample post: “How to Throw the Most Heretical Good Friday Party on Your Block”

Helen Mahar

sample post: “What the Sesame Street Characters Would Be Like in Bed”

Chelle Matthews

sample post: “Awkward Moments to Expect When You’re Getting Your Ass Waxed”

Joe Maus

sample post: “Is Nicotine Gum Worth It?”

Sarah Moeding

sample post: “What a Guy’s Body Size Says About His Dick Size and Fuckability”

Jeremy Munro

sample post: “Three Drink Recipes from College That I Hope Translate to Post-College Life”

Lisa Nachtman

sample post: “Things That Freak Me Out, In Order from Most to Least Justifiable”

Jon [Name Removed]

sample post: “A Guide to Fucking Hipster Girls”

Kara Nesvig

sample post: “I Love Country—and I Don’t Apologize For It”

Alix Nettnay

sample post: “The Post-Breakup Slutty Period: A Road Map”

Tim Normandt

sample post: “Four Dislikable Things About Spotify”

Pat O’Brien

sample post: “The Ten Dumbest Things I Have Ever Done”

Mike O’Connell

sample post: “Five Things You Do at Work That Make Me Secretly Want to Kill You”

Allie Pape

sample post: “Video Games, I Just Want to Sit On My Ass and Play You! Why Do You Have to Be So Difficult [and Also, Sexist]?”

Poncho Peligroso

sample post: “How to Treat Social Media Like a Video Game for Maximum Fun”

Ian Power

sample post: “What I’m Actually Thinking When I’m Watching the Concert I’m Supposed to Review”

Louie Quindeis

sample post: “Thought Catalog Confronts McSweeney’s at a Movie Theater”

Hope Rehak

sample post: “Why Living in Europe is Not as Awesome as It Sounds From America”

Lauren Rothering

sample post: “Confessions of a Facebook Photo Tag Neurotic”

Callie Sacarelos

sample post: “How to Reluctantly Deduce That He Doesn’t Want to Sleep With You, Using Text Messages”

Angela Saunders

sample post: “E-Mails You Get On Your Neighborhood Listserv”

Dustin Saunders

sample post: “What Really Caused the Quake in Japan?”

Paul Schmitt

sample post: “Fast Food Competitors’ Answers to Pizza Hut’s Dinner Box Marriage Proposal Package”

Conor Skelding

sample post: “13 Alt Uses for Your New Mason Jar”

Regan Smith

sample post: “Mythbusting: Sexy Librarians”

Jack Spencer

sample post: “Thanks, Megan Boyle, for Saving Me From the Chicago Police”

Erin Sullivan

sample post: “Tani Party: Little-Known B-Sides from Ani DiFranco and Tammy Wynette”

Carl Atiya Swanson

sample post: “The Joys of an Oxfordless Comma”

Douglas Taylor

sample post: “Thoughts I’ve Had While Working at a Meat Processing Plant”

Moon Temple

sample post: “Limbo”

Hannah Van Arsdale

sample post: “I spent two weeks with a famous person and all I got was severe depression and a penchant for cocaine”

Leigh Vandebogart

sample post: “What Your Bed Covers Say About You”

Eric Wall

sample post: “Awesome/Horrible Things From My Childhood That Technology Will Kill”

Jen Wasserman

sample post: “Thoughts in the Midst of a Pregnancy Scare”

Cassandra Watson

sample post: “The Top Four Reasons I Couldn’t Act On My Bisexuality at Christian College”

Kim Windyka

sample post: “An Open Letter to the Self-Checkout”

Kerry Winfrey

sample post: “‘Why I Love Foggy Clubs,’ by a Guy Who Loves Foggy Clubs”

Illustrations by Becky Lang