A Guide to Throwing the Most Heretical Good Friday Party on Your Block
Step one. Buy a pack of “Hello, My Name Is … ” stickers for you and your friends. Assign everyone to be their favorite Good Friday character: Jesus, Peter, Mary, Herod, Barabus, Pilate, and don’t forget Judas! 10 lent points if you dress the part. Once you’ve all picked your persona of the day, hit the bar! It’s time for SHOTS FOR JESUS! Extra lent points if you only answer to your Good Friday name.
Step Two. Head over to your local Stations of the Cross ceremony, bring a friend or two, a stereo of some sort, and some meat since rumor has it those that honor this religious day don’t eat meat on Fridays this time of year. Park right in front by the door of the church so you can’t be missed, unroll all your windows and turn up the radio! As they walk out, hopefully with a crucifix with them, ask, “What’s hanging Jesus?” Set up your Good Friday playlist that starts with Rebecca Black’s “Friday”. Now that the congregation is giving you some dirty looks, take a big bite of whatever meat you brought and 5 lent points for yelling, “Jew you want to party?” as you drive away. That should really get the congregations attention.
To finish up, end up at home with some friends making up your own Good Friday drinks: Vodka Jesus, the Crucifixer, Bloody Friday, Back Splinters and whatever else you can come up with. With those drinks hopefully you will black out…for Jesus. 10 lent points for not puking up your last Vodka Jesus mixer.