Which “Please Come Home for Christmas” is For You?
The Eagles, 1978
I don’t know what it’s like to date models. I don’t know what it’s like to live in California in the 1970s and play ..
Chumbawamba: Where Are They Now?
Boff Whalley—vocals, guitar, ukulele and clarinet. Forming the anarchist pop act Chumbawamba from his former band Chimp Eats Banana, W..
I Attended a Hot Mess Oktoberfest
Last night, I attended a rural, Midwestern Oktoberfest being headlined by that rose-wielding Saxon, Bret Michaels. Old men accosted ou..
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Fucking Your Friend’s Ex
1. How serious was it? Did they share a Facebook profile pic? Had a pet been purchased as a mutual child? Did he cry when you revealed..
No One Ruins a Party Like a Steampunk Ruins a Party
I’ve been where you are. Enjoying the night. Letting the smoothness of the jam band on stage sink into you. The bouncing bass. The sil..
Signs She’s Not Cheating on You, Just Relax
She Reads You Her Text Message History. All girls are protective of their iPhones. It’s a gender thing, not a her thing. So she slams do..
What the Hell Has Happened to Inaugural Poetry?
The worst possible thing that could happen to poetry has just happened again: a presidential inauguration.
Poetic rabble-rousers such a..
God, Death, and Why “Ghost Adventures” May Be the Most Important Thing Ever…Or at Least on Television
When my Grandma died last month my relatives—the ones who had gathered by her bedside—said they saw a ghost. “It was more like a bright ..
The Six Most Epic Christmas One-Hit Wonders
If being frozen in time as the auteurs of a dangerously-bland style of heavy metal in the mid- to late 198..
I Lived in a Church for Two Years and All I Got Was This Blog Post
It started when I tried hooking up with some hot babes on a missionary trip. I wanted to go and help the indigent in Chicago, but when t..
What I Learned Overnight in the County Jail
We still strip people naked and strap them to chairs. Okay, so maybe the royal “we” here is too loosely applied. By “we” I mean police..
Look Who’s Coming to Dinner: Text Messages (and Some Annotations) of the Night My Brother Got Frosties with Bon Iver
My brother’s text message reached me just before 6 p.m. on Labor Day.
(5:59) “Bon Iver might be coming over to my house for dinner toni..