Author: Emily Weiss
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Great Babies of History: Jordy Lemoine
These days, you can’t go anywhere without hearing about Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s unborn child, a.k.a. “Destiny’s Child”, a.k.a. Bey-Jay II (which is what they should name the baby if it comes out and is a dinosaur movie). It might be fake ! Its crib is a mansion ! Shouldn’t they be “a little bit scared…
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Scott Caan’s Agent Pitches Some New Scott Caan Vehicles
An ABC Family movie of the week where Scott Caan plays a high school English teacher who rehabilitates prisoners by encouraging them to write poetry in “Prose and Caans”. A miniseries set in the mid-1860s, Scott Caan is a gender-bending labor foreman by day and an undercover saloon girl by night in “The TransCaantinental Railroad”….
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Things Samantha Jones Whispered To Me During Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II
“What’s the big deal about this Elder wand? If you ask me, I’d rather see his Younger wand.” “What? Yes?” (every time someone says ‘horcrux’) “If Neville’s Longbottom is any indication of the rest of him, sign me up!” “Mmm I have something very similar to Bellatrix’s outfit in my vault but it’s red and…
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Social(ish) Media Founders and CEOs in Order of Attractiveness: #6-1
6. Evan Williams – Twitter “My favorite authors are Russian and the first big purchase I made when the cash started flowing was a custom-made $8,000 mattress, but that doesn’t mean I won’t still go with you when you are in the mood for Famous Dave’s.” 5. Billy Chasen – turntable.fm I bet it’s hard…
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Social(ish) Media Founders and CEOs in Order of Attractiveness: #12- 7
12. Jakob Lodwick – Vimeo Emily – you goof! You mixed up this picture of Vimeo founder and notorious asshat Jakob Lodwick with any/every picture you found on LATFH! He repulses me on an intimate level, but I am being a SERIOUS JOURNALIST here and so I have determined that he is, empirically, more attractive…
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Social(ish) Media Founders and CEOs in Order of Attractiveness: # 17-13
17. Reid Hoffman – LinkedIn Predictably, the LinkedIn crowd is at the bottom of the list here. Sorry Reid. I’m sure you are charitable and “really so super sweet. Like seriously, such a teddy bear.” 16. Konstantin Guericke – LinkedIn Zachary Ty Bryan, this guy has 90 million dollars!! Oh to be clear, I don’t…
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Some Funny Things to Name Your Hermit Crab
10. Mr. Crabbypants McCrabberson III 9. Lenny Harris 8. Noah John Rondeau 7. Shelley Long 6. Claus 5. Keith Hopwood 4. St. Jerome 3.Thomas Pynchon 2. Shy Guy 1. Thomas PINCHon – Emily Weiss 0 likes
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Collegiate Haute Cuisine: Recipes For the Poor and Shameless
Crunch Burrito Skill Level: Easy Special Equipment: Microwave Ingredients: Flour tortilla, canned refried beans, Fritos/Doritos/Tortilla Chips Instructions: Search EVERYWHERE for a frickin’ can opener. No one has one? How can we not have a can opener? What is this, Russia? How about the kitchenette in the lounge – not there either? No can opener but…
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Emily’s Wacky Wednesday Internets Round-Up: Week 9
Well, it finally happened guys. I fell off the EWWIRU wagon. It’s a small wagon – less like the haunted hay ride at Spookyworld and more like one of those carts they have for little kids at the grocery store – but it’s a wagon I was riding (pulling?) for 8 weeks strong and now…
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Unsigned Indie Bands Found in Names of Tangential Writers
Ah, Ditch Size! Clan By Keg Princess Bit Sissy Crotch Knot Silently Evil Lad Banjo’s Zeal We Smell Hatchet Brocade Shits Ajar By Leg Nibs Triceps Tiny Cocks Shorts The Maybe Cat Divas Yell Lentil The Pretend Skis Ease Hurrah Karmic Sail Chum Is Senora Kites Kitschy Consorts – Emily Weiss likes anagrams Photo via…
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Services Menu at The Tangential Inner Beauty Salon (Midwest Location)
Welcome to The Tangential Inner Beauty Salon. Before you enter the premises please remove your shoes as we believe that dirt from the soles represents the dirt in your soul. Also, no menstruating women. Your experience begins with our signature Selfishness Enema. Enjoy the benefits of having one of our Inner Beauty consultants flush your…
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10 Years of Names of Bachelor/ette Contestants
Presented without comment: Mathue Krisily Chantal Moana Bevin Trista Bentley Vienna Donato Spero Tenley Kiptyn Kasey Tanner Marshana Lanny Rozlyn Treasure Shayne Rigina Blakeney Compiled by Emily Weiss 0 likes