This is kind of pretty, I think I like it.

How does one whistle a name? Does Lana have dog-like hearing?

When he says, “Get over here and play your video game,” is he making a dick reference?

Wait, is she talking about stripping and catering to her man-child boyfriend’s every need? I think this song is offending my feminist sensibilities a little. Do we need to stage an intervention? I just want to find Lana her own hobby. I hear underwater basket weaving is creative and fulfilling.

Is this secretly a song about game head?

“Take my body downtown” makes me think of dumping bodies in the river.

“I say you the bestest.” Most bad girls I know don’t feel the need to talk like toddlers, Lana. Just a tip.

I should hang out in bars more.

Oh wait, maybe they are playing video games together. Why did I assume they didn’t play video games together? Am I being sexist? Do I need to examine my assumptions?

Why do I picture her boyfriend as a big, beardy, lumberjack-type? I also think he would smell like sweat, beer, and pine scented car air fresheners. His name is probably Earl, or possibly Dewey.

I also feel like Lana is that asshole friend you keep around out of some kind of obligation, rather than out of genuine like.

When she says, “bad girls,” does she mean it in the Bad Bitch way, or the gross porno way? She means the gross porno way, doesn’t she? Sigh.

I’m a little worried about who has the bigger self-esteem issues, Lana or Dewey. “Only worth living is if somebody is loving you,” is not a healthy mindset, nor is it good grammar.

I still kind of like it.

– Anne Christians