Author: Jeffrey Ellinger
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Things I’ve Never Done
What? Me? No, I’ve never done these things, no way. I’ve never been neurotic about my hair, getting gray hair or having bad hair or anything about my hair. With me and hair, it’s always been copacetic. At my first job out of college, I never laid down on the floor of a house (which…
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A Guide to Life as a Cool Christian Bro
Jesus. The first thing for a cool Christian bro is Jesus, gotta be down with JC. He died for everyone and His doing so opened the way to heaven, which is going to be the best time ever. Dave Bazan, he’ll be there, playing his guitar. Mark Driscoll, he’ll be there, giving a sermon on…
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Why My Marriages with Any of the Women from El Guincho’s “Bombay” Video Would Never Work
EL GUINCHO | Bombay from MGdM | Marc Gómez del Moral on Vimeo. 1:02—The woman painted golden. It’s clear she’s a runway model, lithe, almost gaunt. So I would marry her, yes, but it’d be a rocky marriage, filled with cocaine, holding her hair as she throws up, and tearful rants about a fashion world…
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What These Texts Really Meant
What #1 said: Jeffrey, don’t you know that we’re all online because this whole thing is messy and terrible? I honestly don’t think I’m the person you’re looking for. I don’t even think I know what I want, I just know it’s going to take a while to figure it out. What #1 meant: I…