Heidi Thomasoni
TagA Guide to Interpreting My Snapchat Selfies
Sad Face: Pay attention to me.
Sad Face with hand-drawn sad faces: Why don’t you love me/Snapchat me back?
Mirror Pic: I’m ..
Suggested Track Listing for Amanda Bynes’s Rap Album
Welcome to the Errordome
Dickelodeon
Bang a Gong (Throw a Bong)
Fear of a Planet Tan
Bitches Can’t Shit (When They’re Livi..
Girly Essay Collections to Self-Publish When I’m 30
Pussy: When Cats See Too Much
Porcelain: Accomplishments, High Scores and Mental Breakdowns on the Toilet
Why are you all starin..
On Being the Alpha Female in a Man Pack
I was recently asked what my spirit animal is, to which I replied, “cat.” This is mostly true because I like sleeping and stretching a..
Me and My Taylor Swift Pizza Box
Hey, Taylor Swift. Not the real Taylor Swift, but the giant face on my pizza box. You just got delivered to my door, and I can’t wait ..
The Whiny Girls’ Guide to Camping
To whine about hourly:
How tired you are
How cold you are
How bad your hair looks
How bad you smell
How nice your bed would be ..
How to Make Love to Your Lifeguard
- Approach your lifeguard* from the front while simultaneously scoping out the scene for safety and places to comfortably make love.
- In..
Fill-in-the-Blank Science Report
For my science project, I tested on to see if would .
Hypothesis: will stunt the growth of .
Background:
Bas..
What’s Hot This Summer
Memes on mudflaps
Bud Light Platinum, straight up with two olives
Peen coozies
Mariachi pontoon parties
Jamba Juice with A..
Hobbies I’ve Acquired for Boys
Baseball
Outcome: I went to every baseball game my crush played, and he had no idea how extensive my knowledge was of his statistics…
Nicholas Sparks Movies Make Me Hate My Life
I saw that new Nicholas Sparks movie last night after drooling over the trailer for about a month. If you’re unaware of it, it’s call..
Pros and Cons of the Hunger Games Characters We’d Like to Fuck
Katniss
Pros:
Braids that aren’t overtly kinky
Doesn’t care about “still being me” when forced into killing battle
Probably has so..