Jay Gabler
is a writer, editor, and adjunct instructor. He grew up in St. Paul and Duluth, went to college at Boston University, went to grad school at Harvard, and now lives in Minneapolis, where he works at the Twin Cities Daily Planet and at a college that would probably prefer not to be named. He wrote Sociology for Dummies, cowrote Reconstructing the University, and updated Insiders’ Guide to the Twin Cities. He drops names on Vita.mn and appears weekly on Freaky Deeky. For a steady stream of self-absorbed bullshit, follow him on Twitter and Tumblr.
Four Loko on Law & Order SVU is “Five Crazy” in case you were wondering — Hazel Cills (@hazelcills) June 4, 2013 bellybuttons make me nauseous — Alessandra Cat (@alessandradite) June 3, 2013 boys simply love promising to teach you guitar someday — lauren mc (@laurenbutt) June 2, 2013 marriage should be like a presidency term after 4 years you should get to vote if you still want to be married — Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) June 2, 2013 RT if you...
Katie Sisneros and special guest Timothy Otte demonstrate how to make delicious cocktails with Prairie Organic Vodka—and also Karkov bottom-shelf vodka. Directed by Jay Gabler.
If you just said that a movie “epitomizes the spirit of our era,” people are allowed to say you’re reading too much into it. If you just pointed out that a movie’s minority characters are offensively stereotyped, do not allow people to tell you you’re reading too much into it. If you just referenced a writer—especially Hemingway—people are going to tell you you’re going too far, and they may well be right. If you just referenced a director, people should get the hell off your back....
Last night my girlfriend and I pulled Braveheart up as a kitschy couch-potato flick, and in that respect we were not disappointed. It didn’t seem like a film anyone would confuse with a good movie, and we attributed its Best Picture win to the Academy’s predictable taste for historical epics. I was surprised, then, to later read the reviews and find that the film was immediately adored by critics—not just the famously unsnobbish Roger Ebert, but by the New York Times, whose writer Caryn James called it “one...
“Monogamic marriage, with divorce granted only for good and sufficient reasons and not because one or both of the parties directly concerned tire of the union and desire a change, is the sheet anchor of our civilization, and anyone who seeks to injure or destroy such time-honored and respected institution must be regarded and treated as a foe to civilization.” (p. 118) “In the paragraphs we have quoted from Engels we have [...] the promise to those pulsating with sex love, who ever hunger after...
Welcome to the Errordome Dickelodeon Bang a Gong (Throw a Bong) Fear of a Planet Tan Bitches Can’t Shit (When They’re Living Off Movie Premiere Cheese Trays) Wanksta’s Paradise Murder (My Vagina) Was the Case (not feat. Drake) Straight Outta Thousand Oaks White Lines (Do It) Nuthin But a G String Keep Ya Head Up (Or I’ll Hit Ya With My Car) All Phat - Jay Gabler and Heidi Thomasoni, with a prompt from Becky Lang Photo via @AmandaBynes
I was born in 1975, on a generational cusp between Gen X and Gen Y. For all the various differences between the cohorts on either side of my demographic fence, they have one key attribute in common: they really fucking resent Baby Boomers. In the past couple of days, the “old economy Steve” meme has been catching fire online, as Millennials bash the people who were born into a booming postwar economy and are now seen to regard 20-somethings as lazy and entitled. Their big...
25. Mike R. What he likes: “Rat Pack or classic rock.” Analysis: Hasn’t reflected on the irony of the fact that his relationship deal-breakers include being a smoker, a joker, or a midnight toker. 24. Drew What he likes: Hemingway. “I love his characters and writing style.” Analysis: For your first Halloween party as a couple he’ll put on a floral shirt and a Santa-suit beard, then ask you to go as Gertrude Stein. At the party he’ll quickly get drunk and try to goad you...
“Cause it’s like you’re my mirror, my mirror staring back at me…” This Dutch dragon CAN’T EVEN HANDLE IT RIGHT NOW. “Am I about to get hit by this train? How curious!” The spectrum of Hermione runs from Emma Watson to…this. Cool that “stone” gets translated to “stein,” less cool that Harry looks like he’s about to peace out and go find a head shop. Never has a kid with a giant rat passed out next to him looked so bored. I’d look like that...
Every once in a while, fall over in a way that looks really funny—but without actually hurting yourself. Like, fall on your ass while on an ice-skating date, or wipe out while jogging in a way that shows how out-of-shape and in need of a life epiphany you are. Get instrumental accompaniment. Start with light piano, then work your way up to acoustic guitar strums, and finish up with a soaring track from an album Pitchfork gave an 8.3 when it was released three years...
The Book Clubber. This person can’t stop talking about The Kite Runner, The Devil in the White City, The Help, and Gone Girl. Airport bookstores meet all her needs. You suspect that books not containing discussion guides terrify her. The Fast Reader. He likes books that you can read quickly, and he reads them quickly. He goes through a dozen different mystery series a year, and dips into science fiction when he has to. He has lots of positive things to say about books, but only in the most...
10:39 PM: Once again this year I’m working the overnight security shift at the St. Mark’s Catholic Church community festival in St. Paul, Minnesota. My task: to remain awake and alert for the next 8.5 hours, and to make sure no one fiddles with anything they’re not supposed to be fiddling with. I’ve been instructed to take particular care to ensure that no copper wiring is stripped from the ferris wheel and that the deep fryers aren’t rolled away. I’ve set up a base camp in the...
