All blondes are now the worst ever. Thanks to the Lannister clan of soulless tow-headed fuckwads, your already precarious opinion of t..
You’d have to be a Dummy McDunceFace to not already know that Christopher Columbus wasn’t all he’s cracked up to be. No, he didn’t “di..
“You’ve kissed the Blarney Stone? People have peed on that, you know.”
“Your cat sheds all over the place.”
“The keg’s empty.”
Ryan Lochte doesn’t just not remember to put the toilet seat back down, he actively refuses to do so. He tells you it’s a patience tra..
Wake up, damn you! It’s seven a.m., the sun is up, the birds are singing, you’re looking mighty fine for an early Friday morning, exce..
It may look like rubber to you
Like pointy little bat ears
Like it’s hard to turn my neck.
To me it’s more than a ma..
Baby, back up offa dat fruit. And get down from the tree; you’re a baby. You’ll fall and break your floppy skull.
In today’s install..
“It might also help to show, over time, that the supposed superiority of an Ivy League education is highly over-rated. In time, people wo..
The lesson of Girls: How to get your sleeping boyfriend’s leg off your naked body without flashing your vajeen at the camera in the ce..
This is the Katie’s Mundane Day Report, I’m John Moe. Wait, why don’t we just call it the Katie’s Mundayne Report? Because that would ..
Hey, Dudes (what, nobody to rep the lady-types?),
I’ve heard you’re supposed to sandwich a criticism in between two compliments, so..
Giant novelty scissors for a ribbon-cutting ceremony
The stem of a plant-watering glass bulb
Any of the knives we currently own