Low-Culture
CategoryLife’s Hard Questions – Answered by Teen Magazines
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Failed Media Power Couples
Johannes Gutenberg and Helga the Ink Wench (1449-1450): Helga would bring Johannes’s ink, and their trembling hands would touch. Inevi..
Comparing “No Strings Attached” to “Friends with Benefits”
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Disney Princesses Ranked from Coolest to Lamest
1. Princess Jasmine
-Can literally pole vault between rooftops
-Is the hottest princess (except maybe Little Mermaid) and she basi..
What Archaeologists Will Find in a “USA” Dig Site in 2,500 Years
1. Pissing Boy Decals. You’ve likely seen the badly drawn boy pissing on a Chevrolet sign/Polaris snowmobile/state of Wisconsin. G..
What pop music history would have looked like if Enrique Iglesias’s “Tonight (I’m Fucking/Loving You)” language split had been available in previous generations
The Beatles, “Fuck Me Do”
Stevie Wonder, “I Just Called to Say I’d Fuck You”
Whitney Houston, “I Will Always Fuck You”
Fleetwood Mac, “..
Confessions of a Lapsed Sci-Fi Geek
One of my earliest memories is watching Star Wars on TV and thinking, “How can I get in that world?” I’m not so sure I want to be in that ..
Pros and Cons of Being American
Pros:
-General instinct upon writing pros is to say things we invented, which are lots of cool things like The Internet and MTV whe..
A Spambot Explains Why God Doesn’t Exist
Hi! Nietzsche like he said, “the God is dead” is a very interesting argument! Several compelling points, especially when he posed the ..
Ways to Make Vegetables Unhealthy, Ranked in Order of Awesomeness
5. Butter + Brussels Sprouts. Here’s Katie’s “Down Home Cookin’ Recipe” for Brussels sprouts that would have Paula Deen dry heaving in..
The underground clown sex scene, revealed
The best part about being a clown is not the opportunity to make a child’s day. It’s not the abundance of novelty-sized lollipops, the..
Minimalism and Me
I was not raised as a minimalist. My mom had a mild condition of hoarder syndrome, which she fueled into collecting soaps (you know, b..