Affordable luxuries for overeducated, underpaid urbanites
1. Name-brand Red Bull. It tastes better. You look cooler. You feel richer. And do you really need the extra caffeine you get in that barr..
The 1990s Project: #1 singles of 1990, from best to worst
1. “Nothing Compares 2 U,” Sinéad O’Connor
The one truly transcendent single to top the charts in the first year of the decade. O’Connor’..
“The Insomnia of George Lucas,” by David Foster Wallace
Lucas turns and tosses in his two-piece button-down pajamas, his grey curls burrowed into his feather pillow. He thinks of his mother, and..
I’m haunted by my Twitter account, by iconic folksinger Judy Collins
Do I need Twitter? I mean, really. I’ve had a 50-year career. People know me. I’ve performed at a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction..
Better ways to pluralize “penis” than just saying “penises”
Penii
Penae
Peens
Du penis
Penith
Peniss
Peniolas
Peniz
Penes
Smorgaspeen
– Jay Gabler and Becky Lang
The 1990s Project: Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic”
It’s been almost 20 years since that innocent year Snoop referred to as the Nine-Deuce, when we romped about Compton fucking bitches, ..
The Miley Cyrus Diaries (excerpt)
“Wow. Miley Cyrus covers Nirvana. Not the best way to start my day.” – David McCrindle, Twitter
I’m the brunette one. Or the blonde..
Names of PBS programs if government funding is cut off
Ikea Roadshow
KC Masterpiece Sauce Theater
Clifford the Doublemint Dog
Tavis Smiley, presented by St. Paul Orthodontics
Xc..
An introduction to Dr. Who, by someone who’s never seen Dr. Who
So there’s this British guy named Dr. Who, and he can travel through time and across space. He often dies and gets reincarnated in a d..
Our best guesses as to why snow is falling in Minneapolis on May 1
Disappearance of crunch wrap from the Five Buck Box at the Franklin Avenue Taco Bell displeases Tlaloc
Because there is a darkness ..
Decoding phrases commonly found in Rolling Stone magazine
“Happier than ever”: Still alive.
“Strikes back”: Responds to leaks of naked pictures by posing for almost-naked pictures.
“Mons..
Ten annoyingly pretentious things people do when they’re naming their bands or other artistic endeavors
All caps. I’m looking at you, YACHT, WIN WIN, YELLE, and GAYNGS. Why are you yelling at us? Are your names acronyms that you just haven’t ..