skipping first period to get dunkin donuts is iconic

— alessandra cat (@alessandradite) March 4, 2013

I caught my insane ex going through my garbage, but I guess that’s what I get for dating a raccoon.

— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) March 4, 2013

They say that man is the most dangerous game, but I think “dirty hypodermic needle Jenga” is probably pretty far up there.

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) March 5, 2013

An app that tells you how Raven something is.

— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) March 5, 2013

I haven’t had the Cool Ranch Doritos Loco Taco yet; no spoilers.

— Katie Sisneros (@katiesisneros) March 6, 2013

I don’t care how much cancer you cure, coconut water. You taste like semen.

— Nicole James (@thatwhitebitch) March 7, 2013

If I told you the guy from Fun. was a royal whipping boy in his past life, you’d be all “Okay yeah, I could see that.”

— Sean (@SeanBlazed) March 7, 2013

set fire to my gmail

— Mira Gonzalez (@miragonz) March 7, 2013

still like dirty projectors but i am certain those girls record tracks while painfully handcuffed to a radiator

— Rachel Sanders (@rachelysanders) March 7, 2013

The day I learned about masturbation is when I really started coming into my own.

— rachel lichtman (@DJRotaryRachel) March 7, 2013

Unpopular opinion but freelance writers who rant about paying their bills constantly might want to just consider something else for money?

— Becky Lang (@leckybang) March 8, 2013

Making a living off another skill seems an easier battle that being indignant at a poor publishing industry nonstop.

— Becky Lang (@leckybang) March 8, 2013

Every city’s “historic waterfront” is exactly exactly the same.

— Rachel Fershleiser (@RachelFersh) March 9, 2013

– Compiled by @JayGabler