-Toilet paper is pointless.

-It’s “Justin Beaver.” Duh.

-Peas and corn can only be eaten with my fingers.

-I can buy anything at Target.

-Drinking all my milk makes the cows happy.

-The Dougie.

-Action figures and temporary tattoos are legitimate currency.

-I can come over and play whenever I want.

-Scribbling is art.

-Saminiches are tasty.

-When I grow up and I’m, like, 20, I’ll have gray hair and a big belly.

-I should have lots of babies by now.

-I look “freaky” without make-up.

-If I eat all my food, my muscles will get big like Spiderman’s.

-I live at school.

-I should ask my mom before I have friends over.

-Boys are icky. Kissing is so gross.

-Girls are so cute.

-I can’t fit everyone’s snack in my tummy or I’ll blow-up.

-I am white with spots.

-Poopy goes in the potty.

-If I’m naughty, the police will come and put me in jail.

-I’m not cool because I don’t have Twinkle Toes or a Pillow Pet.

-I’m the worst teacher ever.

-I’m the best teacher ever.

–Heidi Thomasoni spends too much time around three-year-olds.

(Photo credit before doodling.)