Things You Can Turn to Your Date and Say After Seeing “Knight of Cups”
“Wait…that was the movie? I thought it was just a really long trailer.”
“Bears, Hawks, Sox, Bulls.”
“They sure made Pittsburgh look great.”
“You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em.”
“This is why abortion needs to be safe and legal.”
“I liked it better the first time, when it was called Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”
“What kind of sex do you want to have tonight: empty and meaningless, or futile and tragic?”
“That much ennui can’t be good for dogs.”
“I liked the scene set at the St. Paul Winter Carnival.”
“This is definitely not going to help with the #OscarsSoWhite situation.”
“Open your mouth.”