When to offer “The Long Story:”

…you have cancer.

…I’m actually a woman/man.

…your cat is dead.

…I’m moving in!

…it was a case of incest.

…I’m secretly wealthy.

…you’re gonna have to watch the kids.

…that’s actually a felony.

…we have to amputate.

…there’s no hot water, so you’ll just have to ‘rough it.’

When to offer “The Short Story:”

…I trained and ran a marathon.

…last night’s episode of (any episode of any show I’ve never watched) was so amazing!

…they wouldn’t let me return the jeans.

…I had a bizarre dream about people you don’t know.

…my sister’s new baby is the cutest!

…I forgot my yoga mat and had to drive back and claim it.

…I don’t eat shellfish anymore.

…I had a complicated relationship with my high school sweetheart.

…I’m switching from a civil engineering major to an industrial engineering major.

…I’m exploring Buddhism.

-Katya Karaz