– A Swiffer Wet Jet wearing a condom

-A pair of white Hanes wrapped around a pair of Spanx

-A pair of color contacts taped onto a Moleskine

-A Yak-Bak with the phrase “Quit biting your lip. You know what that does to me,” programmed into every button

-A monogrammed towel that high-end tea bags randomly fall out of

-A platinum credit card surrounded by a cloud of mysterious smoke

-A cucumber wearing loose-fitting khakis

-A Pantone ‘shade of grey’ that is made into various craft objects suiting different parts of the plot (free MacBook, riding crop, etc.)

-A fingerboard sporting around a business card for a psychoanalyst

-A sheet of Nair

–Becky Lang votes for Captain America … er Chris Evans