Low-Culture Things I Won’t Think You’re Interesting for Hating
PBR: PBR is so synonymous with hipsters that I had to make a rule at my old newspaper job that no one could describe hipsters as “PBR-drinkers on fixies” anymore. But don’t be that snob that insists on drinking microbrews all the time.
McDonald’s: Artists love making political paintings that show Ronald McDonald holding a gun in a child’s face, or Grimace standing in a crowd of Soviet workers. It’s the most ubiquitous sign of capitalism, and that’s why you look totally unoriginal trying to get laid by spouting off about it. I’ll dip my nuggets in their new sweet chili sauce with someone else.
The Disney Channel: “Did you know that I’m intellectually past watching shows marketed for kids 7-13?” You should be – you’re twenty[blah-blah]. That doesn’t mean you’ve never been a kid before, and you can’t be interested in what kids these days are watching.
Twilight or Harry Potter: Stephanie Meyer and J.K. Rowling aren’t the next Roald Dahl or [gifted teen writing a crack memoir]. That doesn’t mean their stories don’t resonate with thousands of people. Acting like they’re a magnet that will automatically cancel out every episode of Breaking Bad doesn’t make me convinced you’re not secretly curious to see what they’re about.
Britney Spears: That “I Wanna Go” song rescued the whistle back from Peter, Bjorn and John. That’s worth something.
Blogs: They democratized publishing and taught the masses tidbits of CSS and HTML, but they dared to remind you that lonely moms and boring people journaling about Europe exist, so they’re out.
Grammatically-incorrect slang: Bitching about incorrect verb use or words teenagers are making up on Twitter actually reveals that you don’t know what descriptive linguistics is. ROFL.
Terry Richardson: Ok, he has been accused of making models suck his dick, but that’s never what people who hate Terry Richardson are mad about. They think his photos are boring, unimaginative and way less introspective than their Indexhibit portfolio of light leaks in France. Sorry, he’s shooting the cover of Rolling Stone and GQ for a reason.
Photo by Terry Richardson