Musical taste
MAINSTREAMER: I own the entire Bruce Springsteen discography.
ALT: The meat and potatoes of my listening are bands who might be found tagged on Hipster Runoff. Based on my listening tastes, Last.fm is currently recommending I try Beach Fossils, the Antlers, Cults, and Young Prisms.
NERD: I have hundreds of classical CDs, which I once organized by birth date of composer.
Point: ALT

Personal Appearance
MAINSTREAMER: I had a long relationship with L.L. Bean, many items from which I still own and wear.
ALT: I often dye my hair unnatural colors.
NERD: I once owned a shirt with leather lips to hold a pen.
Point: MAINSTREAMER

Home decor
MAINSTREAMER: I have a framed family photo, and a pair of steins engraved with my name.
ALT: The photo has been Photoshopped to ironically include my Japanese friend.
NERD: The steins are from when I was a grad student at Harvard.
Point: ALT

Education
MAINSTREAMER: I went to Catholic grade school in a wealthy St. Paul neighborhood, and college at Boston University—a school best known for its hockey team.
ALT: Just to be different, for high school I went to a tiny little Catholic school in an inner-city neighborhood.
NERD: Grad school at Harvard.
Point: NERD

Work
MAINSTREAMER: I teach at a for-profit college that has over a dozen campuses across the Upper Midwest and in Florida, a college that advertises on billboards with the slogan “Your story starts here!”
ALT: I co-edit a creative writing blog.
NERD: As an editor, I have firm views about Oxford commas.
Point: NERD

Family
MAINSTREAMER: Two of my siblings work at a downtown company that electronically facilitates communication between retailers and suppliers.
ALT: My cousin Sara introduced me to Tom Waits, Run Westy Run, and Siouxsie and the Banshees.
NERD: My mom can count at a rapid-fire pace, by sevens, starting with any given integer.
Point: NERD

Transportation
MAINSTREAMER: The only car I’ve ever owned was a luxury sedan.
ALT: I now don’t own a car; I rely on my bike.
NERD: When I had a car, it had its own Facebook profile.
Point: NERD

Reading material
MAINSTREAMER: When I was in junior high, I was very into Clive Cussler and Mary Higgins Clark.
ALT: I follow a lot of self-described “alt litsters” on Twitter.
NERD: I’m currently reading Neil Gaiman’s American Gods on my iPad.
Point: NERD

Movies
MAINSTREAMER: My all-time favorite movies are the original Star Wars trilogy.
ALT: My next-favorite movie is 2001: A Space Odyssey.
NERD: I also like the Star Wars prequels.
Point: NERD

Friends
MAINSTREAMER: My best friend from high school lives in an exurb of the Twin Cities, where he works as an attorney and a volunteer firefighter.
ALT: My current best friends like to go to dive bars, concerts by relevant buzz/chillwave bands, and gossip about self-described “alt litsters.”
NERD: My best friend from college is on the psychology faculty at Berkeley.
Point: ALT

Total points:
MAINSTREAMER: 1
ALT: 3
NERD: 6

– Jay Gabler is such a nerd.

Image: Freaky Deeky