The Tangential Quiz: Which Manly Product Will Get the Job Done?
Below are promises made by advertisements in the June/July issue of Esquire. Can you name which manly product will supposedly get each of these manly jobs done?
You want to be unexpected. What do you do?
a. Buy a Mini Cooper
b. Slap on some Blue de Chanel
c. Wear a Burberry kilt
d. Buy an iPad 2
You never hide. You are a man who:
a. Has a membership at Lifetime Fitness
b. Wears Ray-Bans
c. Drives a Hummer
d. Wears a Speedo
You want to look like you give a damn. You:
a. Wear Converse designed by John Varvatos
b. Use Nivea age-defying face moisturizer
c. Wear a Louis Vuitton watch
d. Drive a Dodge Durango
You want to avoid a total meltdown at the blackjack table. You:
a. Buy the book Hit or Stand
b. Drink Dewar’s
c. Ask your doctor if Adderall is right for you
d. Wear a suit from J.C. Penny
You want to inspire others. You:
a. Wear a Rolex watch
b. Donate to the Red Cross
c. Have Goldman Sachs invest your money
d. Drive an Infiniti hybrid
You want to live a life without walls. You:
a. Take a Royal Caribbean cruise
b. Have your girlfriend ask her doctor if the Nuva Ring is right for her
c. Drive a Chrysler 200
d. Buy a Samsung Notebook running the Windows OS
You are a real person. You:
a. Buy an eyeCheck optical-scan security system
b. Drink Heineken
c. Buy a Sprint dual-touchscreen cell phone
d. Wear an Oris ProDiver watch
You want to hang out. You:
a. Check into a Renaissance Hotel
b. Buy a pair of Hanes wide-cut boxer shorts
c. Go rock climbing in Mexico
d. Drink Grey Goose vodka
You want to seduce Zooey Deschanel in a pink-hued space lounge. You:
a. Wear a Brooks Brothers tie
b. Use Gillette Total Sheen Beard Conditioner
c. Make her an Absolut Citron Cosmo
d. Prepare yourself with a Trojan Ribbed for Her Pleasure condom
You want to make your words count. Those words are:
a. “I have erectile dysfunction, and I use Viagra.”
b. “I demand the finest wines, so I order from Lot 18.”
c. “I drive a Lincoln MKX, and so does fashion designer Kevin Stewart.”
d. “I wear Eternity Aqua cologne.”
– Quiz by Jay Gabler