You see celebrities, you hear celebrities, but you never get to know what they smell like. (Only groupies get to know what they taste like.) Here’s what I imagine certain celebrities might smell like.

Rachel Zoe

Cinnamon gum, tanning beds, freezer burn

Tyra Banks

Bubble Yum, instant cocoa, the blood of a younger woman

Charlie Sheen

Cool Water, chewing tobacco, antifreeze

Snooki

Peanut butter, margarita salt, man sweat

Rebecca Black

Licorice, Cheerios, Victoria’s Secret Lovespell

Bono

Second-hand smoke, cologne rubbed off a magazine sample

Gwenyth Paltrow

Peppermint patties, wheat grass, horse shampoo

Fiddy

Jacuzzi water, woman sweat

Russell Brand

Katie Perry’s linen spray, beef jerky, mercury

–Becky Lang