“The video’s back up and running! Sorry about that whole mishap. My whole team is looking into it to solve this whole mumbo jumbo.” -@MsRebeccaBlack

Webmaster – When you go viral, sometimes your site gets sick.

DVR coordinator – Makes sure that his client doesn’t miss a single episode of Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Wardrobe specialist – Finds all the cutest backpacks.

On-hand rapper – Rides unobtrusively in his own car, ready to jump in whenever Rebeccca feels like it’s time to “break it down.”

Street team – They get college credit for starting flash mob performances of “Friday” at campus events.

Positive YouTube commenters – They hate on the haters.

Hair straightener – An exceptionally talented stylist who can work without waking her client up.

Deceptively 13-year-old-looking chauffeur – He remembers Woodstock.

Medic – For whiplash caused when chauffeur has flashbacks to ‘Nam.

Orthodontist – Removes braces for Fridays, then puts them on again for the other days of the week.

Chaplain – Understands the theological implications of every Friday being a Good Friday.

Music historian – Helps find “white space” in writing new songs about other days of the week. “Easy Like Sunday Morning” is out.

Party planners – Partner with Vitamin Water to make virgin cocktails. Red Bull sponsorship fell through when Rebecca discovered that the Red Bull promotional car has a giant can of Red Bull in lieu of a back seat.

Seating advisor – Holds a Ph.D. in logic. If Rebecca needs to sit next to Carly, but can’t sit next to Aimee, and wants to be in winking view of Malcolm, which seat should she take? (Cf. the paradox of Buridan’s ass.)

Identical twin – For singing backup from an undisclosed location. Was growing resentful, so Rebecca let her do that Leno appearance.

– Jay Gabler and Becky Lang