The Proust Questionnaire is a series of questions that Vanity Fair asks Important People and various unimportant people ask themselves and post on their Internet blogs. It asks questions like “What is your greatest fear?” and “When and where were you happiest?” While the quiz has made people say such interesting things as, “The greatest journey is the one yet unimagined,” (thanks, Harrison Ford!) it might need a bit of an update in order to get the post-modern generation thinking. Here is a proposed update, inspired by listening to a lot of drunk and/or stoned twentysomethings.

1. What were the most shocking things, to you, about watching “Ren and Stimpy” as an adult?

2. Where were you and what were you doing when the New Coke crisis hit?

3. What do you hate most about James Frey?

4. What would your name be if you were a DJ?

5. Who was your favorite Power Ranger?

6. Was it just for Sun Chips to so quickly abandon their eco-friendly yet embarassingly noisy bag?

7. Remember “Ghostwriter?” Like, remember it?

8. In your opinion, was Sofia Coppola’s “Virgin Suicides” film better than Jeffrey Eugenides’ book?

9. Would you rather live in the pouch of a giant kangaroo, or have a tiny kangaroo living in your own pouch? I forgot to mention, the tiny kangaroo is a racist. (That one was courtesy Tom from “Parks and Recreation.”)

10. Is depression a chemical imbalance, or is that all just total b.s.?

-Becky Lang was also shocked when she watched “Rocco’s Modern Life” as an adult. A dog has sex with a mop. Seriously! A train goes into a tunnel while they’re doing it.