Starbucks’ new size, the Trenta, is 16 ml larger than the average stomach. Clearly the demographic for this giant bucket of coffee and sugar slurm is not the same demographic that finds the Italian ounce names just so titterable. Here are some name suggestions that might better suit this gargantuan option.

The Pants Pisser

The Dehydrator

The Growth Stunter

Librarian’s Flask Hider

Glutton’s Delite

20-Hour Energy

Lukewarmifier

Cupholder’s Revenge

Big Gulp PRO

Pot’n’a’Cup

Meningitis Hot Spot

–Becky Lang, like the rest of the population, has worked at Starbucks