The Five Most Overrated Characters in “A Christmas Carol”

The Five Most Overrated Characters in “A Christmas Carol”


Fred’s wife

Mrs. Cratchit has good reason for being crabby about Scrooge: he’s abusing her husband and starving her family. Fred’s wife, though, just sits around dissing on Scrooge for no reason other than his refusal to come play her stupid parlor games. In high school, she was totally a mean girl.

Fezziwig

He’s a “cool boss,” but just because Fezziwig’s fat himself, that doesn’t make it okay for him to constantly be making cracks about his wife’s tendency to overeat. She puts on a good face and giggles for her husband’s employees, but she probably cries alone in a separate bedroom while her husband tries to sleep off his bender, loudly struggling with undiagnosed apnea.

Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come

Doesn’t talk, doesn’t show his face, doesn’t do jack squat except look creepy and point. In fairness, though, Scrooge is remarkably dense about the fact that his bedclothes are being sold, and those are his friends talking shit about him, and…what?! That couldn’t be…the name on that tombstone…whoa, whoa, whoa! So I guess it’s understandable that the ghost is a little bitchy about his appointed task.

Tiny Tim

Everyone thinks he’s a total saint basically just because he’s cute and alive. Who’s Daddy’s favorite? Tim! Who’s going to lead us in prayer? How about…Tim?! After dinner, who’s going to take a big solo before anyone else is allowed to sing carols? Shut up, everyone, it’s Tim time! Sure, the family’s youngest could stand to have better health care, but that awkward older brother is going to need decades of therapy.

Topper

The life of the party, that Topper! Never mind that he cheats at the blindfold game so he can grope all the ladies and generally acts like a total lech…can’t have a party without Topper! [shudder]

Jay Gabler

  • parry badger

    That is probably the worst written, americanised review of characters in a Christmas carol. It’s a British book, stop adding totally irrelevant and implausible things, it just dampens a novel with incredible atmosphere and depth. For example,Jay Gabler, your awful interpretation of Fezziwig is laughable, such an unrelated, ranting piece of writing is littered with disgraceful vocabulary.Why would any of that happen? Right from the title I was surprised this was the work of a professional newspaper, and i was correct. Don’t attempt to belittle Dickens, it’s impossible…

    • Agreed, Parry. I am one American who does not think this article is amusing in any way, shape or form. I found it juvenile and insulting. The story is British, it is pure Dickens and it is a wonderful commentary on greed, hardness of heart and redemption.

  • graham young

    Parry, I think the pseudo mall rat English is supposed to be funny.When Mr Gabler says Mrs Cratchit is ‘ totally a mean girl’ do you think he’s writing like this because a) he really doesn’t know any better or b) for comic effect? He certainly seems to understand the characters, anyway. I always thought that about Mr Topper!

  • Michael Sterckx

    He still sent a shiver down my spine towards the beginning of the story once his rhythm was up and running and he whispered softly that he’s sure he’s stood behind you reading this over your shoulder.

  • Sue

    What is wrong with our society? Just read this silly article and you can see. If there is anything good or inspirational in this world someone had to reduce it to their own low level. Leave Dickens alone none of his work can be overrated!

  • jack purdy

    Well, one great writer had his problems with Dickens’ sentimentality: “Anyone who can read of the death of Little Nell without laughing must be made of stone.” So said Oscar Wilde.

  • Zoe Neustaedter

    jay why are you salty about tiny tim?