Conservative commenters have been expressing concern that women journalists are going for “the sexpot look,” undermining their credibility and that of their profession by using their sex appeal to draw viewers’ eyeballs.

As a male journalist, I ask: where in this furor is the criticism of the men? It’s hard enough trying to make a living in this shrinking field without feeling pressured to be sexy too. Consider who I’m up against.

Kingpin of the sexy reporters is Anderson Cooper, the silver fox of CNN. We can’t all have a strong jaw, distinguished grey hair, sculptured guns, and deep blue eyes that make the ladies (and men) go limp! I’m trying to meet deadlines here—I can’t be doing pull-ups 24/7! Someone put this man in a trucker hat and start feeding him Ho-Hos before he makes this whole profession a runway show.

Then there’s Matt Lauer, who manages to pull off both the balding-virile thing and the boy-next-door aw-shucks charm. How do you do it, Lauer?! My plea to the NBC producers: next time Matt Lauer wants to dress in drag, ask yourselves: what would Walter Cronkite do? (In public, I mean.)

Don’t even get me started on Brian fucking Williams. This man spends more on hair product in a week than the New York Times spends on fact-checkers in a year. You’re not fooling anyone, Williams: just because you’re not stretched out in a Playgirl centerfold doesn’t mean you’re not selling your cool-dad sex appeal for ratings points.

I’ve only mentioned TV journalists, but take my word for it: the problem of sexed-up male journalists is just as bad in print and online journalism. Spare me the bedroom eyes, David Brooks!

I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it any more.

– Jay Gabler