Friend and Family Comments About People I’ve Dated
Mom: He’s just like your ex you know. They have the same coat.
Friend: Yeah. We’re really going to miss having him around, silently playing Angry Birds.
Mom: He’s not exactly a manly man. More like a boyly boy.
Mom: He’s always just playing on his laptop.
Friend: When I met him, I thought “Who’s the teacher?”
Mom: He was a nice boy though.
Friends: We decided – marry him. Also, you guys look alike.
Friend: I think he’s an alcoholic.
Mom: I think things went downhill for you after he shaved his head.
Friend: All he did was play video games. Dick.
Mom: He doesn’t make eye contact.
Friend: I like him. He pays attention to me.
Friend: I don’t know about him. He doesn’t laugh at my jokes.
Brother-in-law: That guy … he really liked chili.
Sister: He seemed … I don’t know … stoned?
Friend’s boyfriend: That guy! He’s the one! He’s so cool! Wow. I really liked him.
Friend: I like him. It’s not like, “Oh Becky and boyfriend are coming, bleh.”
Friend: He’s mean. I can tell he thinks I’m stupid.
Friend’s boyfriend: It’s like you looked up “perfect boyfriend” on Amazon and pressed “add to cart.”
Ex: Met your ex. He was hot.
Really drunk gay guy who tried to get us to have a threesome with him: Oh you guys broke up? I heard you guys were just in it for the “bump bump.” [Spills beer on me.]
Image by Michael Inscoe