Jason Zabel, Author at The Tangential

1. Mike “The Situation” will die first. Or at least I hope so. Kidding! Nah I’m serious. Not only is this my personal preference, but ..

You can’t quantify the amount to which being passive aggressive has improved my life. For starters, there’s the smug satisfaction I fe..

Happy Columbus Day! Here at Tangential headquarters, we’re honoring the holiday by taking several shots of Vodka, the only liquor that w..

I “studied” creative writing in college. This means that most of my time was spent reading short stories and writing even shorter stor..

There are two articles in the New York Times today about about how the Anoka-Hennepin school district is dealing, or rather, not deali..

Your friendships

As you slither in from a night of partying, you pick up your cat and deposit a fat kiss on its wet nose. As a whiskey,..

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY” is something I occasionally find myself thinking while driving. But rarely will I say it aloud, or show any..

1. Fucking get some real worries and be devastated by them. You probably have too much time on your hands. If you’re wistfully plantin..

So you want to write the next great American novel. First off, fuck you. No one reads those things. But, okay, I see that you’re set on ..

You wake, pour yourself a cold press, begin to smile, and then it hits you: everyone died last night. It’s not your fault, and there’s..

1. Overanalyzing everyone’s intentions/thoughts

What did your fifth grade teacher mean when she told just you that kids your age shou..

Introduction: How I Met Ke$ha

“I’ve known assholes like you,” Ke$ha said as she pulled up a stool, slapped me on the leg, and blew vo..