“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY” is something I occasionally find myself thinking while driving. But rarely will I say it aloud, or show any kind of outward irritation. This is all part of being Minnesotan. The only times I ever hear people use their horn is if they are joking (horns can sound so silly!), or if I am in a big, pushy city, like Chicago or New York. I have indeed heard mean-spirited horns while driving in Minnesota, but I just assume that the people furiously pounding their steering wheel were not actually raised in the land of 10,000-plus lakes, and therefore do not qualify as “Minnesotans.” They are just different. Outside of Minnesota, using a horn, or “horning” as it colloquially known (in my head), is how cars communicate. In Minnesota, we forgo all that, and instead allow an angry little person to build within. In fact, inside each Minnesotan is a tiny, angry person from another state, a sub-being who manages to fuel the anxiety of its quiet, passive host. If a Minnesotan is honking at you, it’s probably because they want to say hello.

–Jason Zabel