Tag: Becky Lang
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Why We Love GIFs – Warning: NSFW, May Cause Seizures
I found this GIF on Tumblr one day and after staring at it for awhile, I realized it was a Super GIF – the kind that epitomizes everything GIFs represent. It’s singular, simple, repetitious, circular and thought-starting. The girl in this picture is trapped, forever, naked and tied to a bed, shouting “Motherfucker!” while people stare…
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Things to Do After a Breakup
-Read a book and get distracted thinking how weird it is to actually read a book -Stay at work an extra hour -Eat cereal for meals -Go to the liquor store and look at a kind of liquor you don’t normally drink. Think, “Should I start becoming a ___ drinker now?” Instead, just buy what…
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How to Make Money Writing
Roman in Party Down is the ultimate example of how not to make money writing. In case you haven’t watched that show (get thee to Netflix instant), he’s the resident nerd in a team of Hollywood caterers who all want to be famous in the movie biz. In each episode, Roman scoffs at the acting…
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Star Wars and Human Discomfort
This morning I was driving behind a giant garbage truck that was a rusty, mint green, full of a dystopian level of thrown-out cans and muck. I thought to myself, “This looks like something out of Star Wars.” Funny that the one thing, on Star Wars day of all days, that would make me think…
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$#@% Off, I Work in Marketing
I graduated from college one year ago, and almost immediately started working at a boutique marketing firm as a “creative,” which means I do things like: -Write manifestos for brands -Visit animal training classes -Create presentations about “luxury” -Write Facebook status updates/ads for brands As you can see, it’s a mixed bag, and none of…
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Famous quotes, corrected
Mark Twain PURPORTED: “Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” ACTUAL: “[quietly decomposing]” Rhett Butler PURPORTED: “Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.” ACTUAL: “Sext me.” Karl Marx PURPORTED: “Religion is the opium of the people.” ACTUAL: “Man, I am so high right now.” Benjamin Franklin PURPORTED: “An apple a day keeps the doctor…
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Better ways to pluralize “penis” than just saying “penises”
Penii Penae Peens Du penis Penith Peniss Peniolas Peniz Penes Smorgaspeen – Jay Gabler and Becky Lang 0 likes
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On GChat Literature
I thoughtlessly used the phrase “GChat Literature” when I was trying to explain over tacos how, on the Internet, there is a movement happening where people in different parts of the country and world are coming together, talking in chatrooms, on GChat, on Facebook, and are increasingly self-aware of their real-time, solely written conversations. These…
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Facebook Questions The Government Could Use to Crack Down on “Miscreants”
What’s the hands-down, number one coolest thing about being an illegal immigrant? What are the most delicious ways to become obese and cost the government thousands of dollars? What’s a really sweet place to store your marijuana? Where can I illegally download the new Radiohead record? Who’s the hottest jailbait? Who’s the friendliest crack dealer…
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How to Be Distracted
First, you need to have something you’re supposed to do. Otherwise you’re just bored. To truly excel at being distracted, you need to rise to a position where you have things like deadlines and monthly pool table payments. You’ll have to work hard to get there, but remember, it’s better than being bored, which is…
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Our best guesses as to why snow is falling in Minneapolis on May 1
Disappearance of crunch wrap from the Five Buck Box at the Franklin Avenue Taco Bell displeases Tlaloc Because there is a darkness deep within Sven Sundgaard’s heart Minnesota Film & TV Board dropping shaved ice from airplanes to strengthen our local brand 2012 is starting early Tim Pawlenty agreed to let Rupert Murdoch carry out…
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Guessing How Many Sexual Partners People Who Buy These Forever 21 Products Had in the Past Year
0 Trivia: Liked Switchfoot back in the day 4 Trivia: It’s a gay man WILD CARD, NOT SURE?? Trivia: This will get dirty while wearer is painting a house 3 Trivia: 2 were chicks 1 Trivia: Read Magic Attic Club books as a kid, I hope 0 Trivia: Makes her own candles, has thin,…