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Nicholas Sparks Movies Make Me Hate My Life
I saw that new Nicholas Sparks movie last night after drooling over the trailer for about a month. If you’re unaware of it, it’s called, “The Lucky One,” and it features a beefy Zac Efron as the world’s most perfect man. (I, too, wonder where all his muscles came from.) While watching the movie, I kept…
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How Wisconsin Dells Heightened My Dreadlock Complex
I recently bought a Wisconsin Dells weekend getaway Groupon so that my roommates and I could live out our childhood water park fantasies as mid-twenty-somethings. Having never been there, we asked our seemingly innocent, middle-aged hotel front desk clerk where we should eat lunch. After starring hard at me for a few seconds, she said,…
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Questions to Ask Yourself Before Acting Like a Grammar Nazi
Today, Salon.com writer Mary Elizabeth Williams wrote an essay cleverly punned “The Audacity of Hopefully,” which angrily decries the A.P. Stylebook’s decision to add the word “hopefully.” As she points out, “hopefully” is an adverb, and using it to say things like “Hopefully, my future child will be a boy” is incorrect, unless we mean…
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Pros and Cons of Putting Bumper Stickers On Your Car
Pro: It’s free advertising for my favorite causes! Con: But really, does anyone ever get stuck behind someone in traffic and say, “Hey, I want some of what he’s having!” Pro: I can express my individuality! Con: Via mass-produced stickers featuring brands and slogans? Pro: Makes it easier to find my car among others. Con: Maybe if…
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America’s Next Top Model Recap: More Toochin’, Less Bullyin’
I’m guessing Tyra can’t even remember whether or not Top Model has centered a challenge around anti-bullying ever since Glee and Lady Gaga made it into last year’s important zeitgeist-y social issue, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to take any chances and let the opportunity to deeply inspire pass her by completely. You…
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A Modest Proposal to My Hot Cousin … To Do Some Incest with Me
Hear me out. My cousins are hot. Ok. And not “hot” in a Pam Anderson in Barbed Wire kind of way. Gross. And, dumb. No, my cousins all (or all except those creepy athlete girls from Nebraska we hardly see ‘cept at funerals) have this attractive combination of wit, class, and legs. Dynamite legs. And…