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Signs She’s Not Cheating on You, Just Relax
She Reads You Her Text Message History. All girls are protective of their iPhones. It’s a gender thing, not a her thing. So she slams down the knife when she’s chopping onions and runs in from the kitchen when her phone buzzes near you. Listen, that might sound scary BUT, she reads you her text messages…
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“Stoker”: So THAT’S How It Is In Their Family
Just a couple of weeks after I wrote about movies that inaccurately get called “smart,” along comes a classic example of that species: Park Chan-wook’s Stoker, a colossally stupid movie that also happens to feature an ambiguously erotic passive-aggressive uncle-niece piano duet on a composition by Philip Glass. Wentworth Miller’s screenplay made a 2010 list…
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On Being a Liberal Suffering From Conservative Episodes
I’m a pretty liberal person. I grew up with a lesbian pastor and parents who earnestly campaigned for an opera hall to be built in lieu of a new Vikings stadium. When I was six, I lovingly embraced a tree for 20 minutes, tears soggifying my pink velour overalls, as exasperated laborers waited to remove…
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Hipster Pope Names
Pope Cumberbatch VIII Pope DIIV Pope John Paul Collective Pope Austin SXSW Pope Warby Parker I pOpE Pope Indifferent Pope Kashi Go Lean Pope John Misty Pope? Pope. Pope Generation X Pope Pulp the Juice Pope Olivia Pope of ABC’s runaway hit show Scandal Pope Just a Second I’m Tweeting This Pope to the Maxx Pope…

