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No One Ruins a Party Like a Steampunk Ruins a Party
I’ve been where you are. Enjoying the night. Letting the smoothness of the jam band on stage sink into you. The bouncing bass. The silver-tight guitar hits. The competent drumming. You’re doing what you can to forget about the week. When all of a sudden some motherfucking steampunks show up. Steampunks are essentially dressing up…
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Diseases I Made Up for the Minor Maladies I Suffer
Crankle – When the back of your ankles sting from sitting hard on the edge of the coffee table while you’re couched and watching Netflix. Known cure: Pillow under the feet, or lay down on the couch and accidentally fall asleep. Narcoltoe – When only your left pinky toe falls asleep while driving for more…
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Why Is This Lovingly Made DIY Literary Magazine So Boring?
I was recently sent a copy of a literary magazine; it’s published by a nonprofit organization, so it’s not technically do-it-yourself, but it has a classic DIY feel to it: the pages are photocopied and stapled, and there’s a tiny little book of poetry rubber-banded inside. The cover is fastened with velcro. It’s absolutely adorable…and…
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“Millennials Are Poor Schlubs Living On Breast Milk (Still?),” Says Underpaid Boomer Columnist Who Doesn’t Like Twitter
I have read all the articles and I have these requests: • Stop talking about how my generation is pathetic because some of us live at home after college. The economy crashed because generations before us were greedy and irresponsible with money, not because we spent too much time as teenagers watching Internet porn. (Also, some…
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“G.I. Joe: Retaliation”: As American as the U.S.A.
The most impressive thing about Jon Chu’s G.I. Joe: Retaliation is how badly it manages to suck. The bar is low for an action movie based on a line of silly military toys, and even still, Chu and screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick fail to clear it. The G.I. Joe brand was inaugurated in…
