Tag: Lisa Olson
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“Pacific Rim”: Disaster Porn That Arouses All the Senses
When the Internet first whispered the words Pacific Rim to me, it was around ComicCon time last year. Then the Internet started screaming about “giant aliens,” “giant robots,” and “Guillermo del Toro.” Then the Internet gasped something about Ron Pearlman, passed out, and I was left in a state of confused excitement for months on…
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Zack Snyder Defies Expectations: “Man of Steel” Doesn’t Suck
I was worried about Man of Steel. The most obscenely over-powered superhero of all time as presented by Zack Snyder, maker of the offensively awful Sucker Punch? I didn’t feel much better when the movie started on the MMO-inspired planet of Krypton, complete with flying dragons (or something). But I got a lot more comfortable…
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A Comprehensive Guide to Fowl, from Worst to Best
Swans Have you been to a state fair? Have you seen the rooms with rabbits, chickens, ducks and swans all in cages waiting to be judged? Rabbits are in the cages because they are reasonable creatures who would like to leave the fair. Swans are in cages to protect you. From them. Swans are what…
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“Star Trek: Into Darkness” Is Fine, But It’s Still No “Galaxy Quest”
Recently Kumail Nanjiani tweeted that the best Star Trek film was Galaxy Quest. I laughed at that because it’s a funny joke, but after having seen Star Trek: Into Darkness I enthusiastically agree with Kumail. I don’t want to give you nightmares, but I feel like there’s something really important you need to know: there was…
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“Iron Man 3” is More of the Same—In a Good Way
I’m going to keep this short and sweet so that I don’t waste too much of your time before you go buy your tickets for Iron Man 3, which opens today. I suspect that people who hate fun and routinely miss the point will say things like “I’ve seen this before.” And my response to…
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Hipster Pope Names
Pope Cumberbatch VIII Pope DIIV Pope John Paul Collective Pope Austin SXSW Pope Warby Parker I pOpE Pope Indifferent Pope Kashi Go Lean Pope John Misty Pope? Pope. Pope Generation X Pope Pulp the Juice Pope Olivia Pope of ABC’s runaway hit show Scandal Pope Just a Second I’m Tweeting This Pope to the Maxx Pope…
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Alternate Expressions for “Jumped the Shark”
Un-shot the tycoon (Dallas) Brain-damaged the teen (Skins) Replaced the Becky (Roseanne) Married the brother (90210) Lost the Canadian (MacNeil-Lehrer NewsHour) Met the mother (How I Met Your Mother) Graduated the high school (every teen show) Kissed the vampire (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Opened the hatch (Lost) Abducted the Mulder (X-Files) Had the cancer scare…
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Leisure Activities of Céline Dion While Recovering From Sinusitis in Las Vegas
Googling the word “sinus” while drinking a smoothie with chia seeds. Mani/pedi/acoustic jam in jammies night with Meat Loaf. Getting erotic nose massages from René. Visiting schools and giving chest-beating lessons as a public service. Contemplating killing self with neti pot full of brain-eating bacteria. Settling on a neti Martini instead. While under the influence…
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Congratulations on Your Very Own Ricky Rubio!
I’m sure you want to jump right into life with your new Ricky, but let’s get to know him first. Legend says that Ricky’s father was Javier Bardem and that his mother was a gentle doe who roamed the lush Iberian forests. One day when the doe came across a cool forest pond she bent…
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“Les Miserables” Sheds Bombast, for Better and for Worse, in Stage-to-Screen Transition
As a musical-theater-loving spazz, before I even walked into the theater I had my review of Les Miserables all planned out as a rage comic highlighting my biggest feels and reaction GIFs of Adventure Time characters flailing. I’m sad to say that after viewing the film that’s not really how it went. For me, one…
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“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” Is Not Just Bad, It’s Jar Jar Bad
Love or hate The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, you have to respect Peter Jackson’s contribution to the technology used to make bad movies. Let’s be honest, 48 frames per second in 3D is the single greatest thing this century to push forward the nauseating art of the bad movie. It’s so bad I hope to…
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Comic Book Artist Sina Grace On “Not My Bag,” His First Autobiographical Work
Sina Grace has got to be one of the most blatantly sincere people working in mainstream comics today. I know this, and yet when I picked up his new book Not My Bag I expected a dense, thorough tome with a highly literary narrative like those I’ve become accustomed to from people like Craig Thompson.…