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Five Reasons Golf Is Not Actually the Most Boring Sport
1. Every course is different There is no major sport where differences in the playing fields are as significant as they are in golf. Not to underplay the significance of thousands of screaming home-field fans, all baseball fields, basketball courts, and tennis courts are near-identical compared to the dramatic differences among golf courses. Even on the…
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‘Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat’ dances back to Minneapolis
After more than ten years, the Orpheum Theatre in Minneapolis has brought back Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for a short run (March 29 – April 3). Joseph tells the familiar Bible story of Jacob and his 12 sons. Jacob gifts his favorite son Joseph (JC McCann) with a lovely new (Technicolor!) coat. This…
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In “Batman v Superman,” We All Lose
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a cinder block of a movie, smashed over your head for 152 minutes until you’re semi-conscious, throbbing with pain, and bleeding from your ears into your popcorn. Utterly joyless, it’s sheer torture. Zack Snyder’s movie is filled with Bat Signals and stylized consonants, but its most iconic moment is a…
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How Old Things Are, in Context
One year old: Not that old. As old as a baby that can’t say much or even walk that great, probably. Two years old: Only slightly older than the car I’m leasing, and it still has “new car smell,” at least according to the guy who tried to fit a table in the back of the car…
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My Dog’s Threat Level Rankings
RED ALERT -Moms pushing strollers on walks -Unexpected Amazon package on stoop -Hissing cat -Free chair on someone’s curb -Halloween decoration of zombie woman with hole through her stomach ORANGE ALERT -Small dogs being walked past house -Unfamiliar stairs -Any dog seen from inside the car -Statue of dog butt with head seemingly buried in ground…
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How I Don’t Write
When it comes to my complete and utter lack of a writing career, people never ask me, “How do you do it?” It’s pretty simple, actually: I am wholly dedicated to never actually writing, but — and this is crucial — thinking about doing it a lot. My routine starts when I wake up early-ish,…