My Internal Tweet Monologue During “Divergent”
No mystery behind teen apocalypse phenom: Your feelings are literally the center of the world & u get hot bf. SOLD.
Gasp! It’s Rose! Where’s Jack, Rose? Where’s Jack? Still in the ocean where u let him freeze and die? #1997 #NeverForget
No one ever mentioned Skrillex in the books. Who’s making this music? The Factionless? Are they on Spotify?
Woah. I think maybe I think Eric is kind of hot. I feel bad but… #notsorry We aren’t here for the Kafkaesque whatever shut up
Oh and we’re going to listen to @EllieGoulding again now? Ellie and Skillrex music alone survived the war yay? #blessed
Serious thoughts on the character of @4
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> How are you telling the difference between Will, Peter and Al? They are being played by different actors, right?
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> Ohh girl get some.
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> Hurry up and get some.
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> Get some or I’m going to jump up there and do it for you
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> Good Job #HighFive
Zipline… Zipline… I’m graining on that line, graining on that line I’m swerving on that swerving on that zipline.
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> I know @AnselElgort is your brother this time but I’m DYING for The Fault In Our Stars so this is awkward but:
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> I’m DYING. Get it? #TFiOS #LetsCry
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> I wouldn’t be able to handle people watching me take a test either-
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> Oh that was bad. It was so bad I’m going to burst into flames FOR you.
WoahWoahWoah WAIT
WHAT
ZING! If being Divergent doesn’t work out @<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> is all set for being “the funny one.”
@<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)> Don’t let him have that gun this movie is not THAT great you know what’s going to happen if-
Well. Yeah.
…excuse me?
*REDACTED: SPOILERS*
*REDACTED: SPOILERS, INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE*
*REDACTED: SPOILERS, INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE, SOMETHING ABOUT A BODY PART*
@DxIxVxExRxGxExNxT BITCH DID YOU EVEN READ THE BOOK?
If Kate Winslet took off her clothes and started reading to a German kid right now I’d be more comfortable than I am with this.
This movie has Problems, but I kind of loved it anyway. Fun to watch, Fun to make fun of later.
And yes I saw the steaming pile of demon shit that was The Mortal Instruments movie. No guilty pleasure there. Only despair.
Sooooooo…. who’s going with me to see it again this weekend? @<(^v^)>ItsTris<(^v^)><(^v^)>? I know you’re just hanging out. Text me.
The squees, gasps, lols and omfgs from the teens in the theater are part of the experience. Just let it soak in.
I for one welcome our new teenage overlords, @shailenewoodley and @AnselElgort.