Things People Have Actually Said to Me Because I'm Black

I’m a black woman. If you turn your gaze toward the top of my head you’ll find a lot of thick, tightly curled hair. I don’t know if this is the reason why people make some of the creepiest, most racially charged comments in my presence, but I’ve also been told that I have “one of those faces.” Since the person making that statement didn’t elaborate I can only take that to mean that my face attracts creepy racists. Great, so I guess that’s my life now. The following is not original and I’m pretty sure I’m not the first person to do this—and I damn sure won’t be the last—but here’s a running list of some of the strangest things people have said to me in response to my being black, female, and minding my own business.

1. “Can I touch your hair?”

2. “You should totally date him. You guys would make the cutest mixed babies!”

3. “You look like a black version of this girl I used to date.”

4. “Is that your real hair?”

5. “The black Barbie just looks like a white Barbie but covered in chocolate.”

6. “So, is Nikki Minaj’s butt an implant or just a genetic mutation?”

7. “If a black person and a white person have a baby together does that mean the baby is gray?”

8. “Hey is it true what they say? You know…about black guys?”

9. “Damn girl, you got some good hair!”

10. “My aunt is from Sudan and you look just like her. Do you want a ride?”

11. “Does eating chocolate make your skin darker? ‘Cause I hear that’s totally true for carrots.”

12. “Is the hair on top of your head as curly as the hair down below?”