David Bowie (1967)

Oh, isn’t this cute
He’s like Paul McCartney but
Not shouting so much

Space Oddity (1969)

This is much better
Lots of texture, some good songs
Spaceman phase begins

The Man Who Sold the World (1970)

Nirvana song’s good
Then the rest is prog rock prog
Rock prog MAKE IT STOP

Hunky Dory (1971)

“Queen Bitch,” a great song
Wes Anderson made better
Space theme continues

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1972)

We’re way out in space
Feel like I’m missing something
Never seen movie

Aladdin Sane (1973)

Covers Rolling Stones
Wonder if he knew that he
Would bed Mick later

Pin Ups (1973)

Retro already
Just like the 1960s
But androgynous

Diamond Dogs (1974)

“This ain’t rock and roll—
this is genocide!” Wonder
How this sold in Laos

Young Americans (1975)

You’re a slick mofo
David but sorry, you’re still
Not American

Station to Station (1976)

The return of the
Thin White Duke, and also the
Debut of bongos

Low (1977)

Give Eno a call
Have him bring a bunch of drugs
Also marimbas

“Heroes” (1977)

First time I heard it
I thought it was “secret life
Of her labia”

Lodger (1979)

Last of the Berlin
Trilogy. Some say his peak.
Downhill from here, huh?

Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) (1980)

Gonna sing about
Fashion then put a ring on
A supermodel

Let’s Dance (1983)

So many hit songs
Basically ruling the world
Don’t miss the spaceman

Tonight (1984)

David, you’re the man
Of a million personas
But…reggae? Really?

Never Let Me Down (1987)

Stadium rocker
Not a bad look, bring on the
Indoor fireworks

Tin Machine (1989)

Okay, we get it
You and your bros have a band
But please lose the beard

Tin Machine II (1991)

Now out of print, ouch
Buy it used on Amazon
Fourteen cent cassette

Black Tie White Noise (1993)

Awkwardly goes house
But everyone thanks God he’s
Done with Tin Machine

Outside (1995)

First installment in
“A trilogy.” Second still
Has not been released.

Earthling (1997)

The Thin White Duke and
Ziggy Stardust have been sucked
Into The Matrix

“Hours…” (1999)

Prog rock meets grunge rock
Epic, but to what end? The
Album name feels apt

Heathen (2002)

Maybe he should do
More cover versions because
This album kicks ass

Reality (2003)

“There’s never gonna
Be enough sex.” Yes, and it’s
Funny ’cause it’s true

The Next Day (2013)

As yet unreleased
Seems fair to guess that it will
Sound like the future

– Jay Gabler