Wear a scapular around your ankle for over two years in the belief that it will guarantee you a spot in heaven if you die in a state of mortal sin, a belief strong enough that you wear the scapular but not so strong that you wear it around your neck like you’re supposed to
Break collarbone by falling off a folding chair
Be presented with a car repair bill that totals over four times what you paid for the car in the first place
Angrily send a seventh-grade friend home because he ripped the brown paper sleeve off your new Reader’s Digest without asking
Bring a guitar to an open mic night and play a set that’s indifferently received except by the fat falsetto-singing man who leans over and whispers, “I like your lyrics”
Briefly co-own a pair of polydactyl kitten sisters named Mary-Kate and Ashley
Perform a Bill Cosby standup comedy routine about your dad threatening to whup you with his belt, for a packed audience of students and parents at a Catholic grade school in Duluth, Minnesota
Meet someone in person who you’ve previously known only from the Internet, and who greets you by saying, “You don’t present nearly as gay as I thought you would!”
Be brought, by a preschooler, to a preschool as something to show-and-tell at show-and-tell time
Participate in an ill-advised foursome that ends with the second person crying, the third person looking smug, and the fourth person saying philosophically, “Ah, youth.”
Photo by Elycefeliz (Creative Commons)
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