Locals Angry as Yo Gabba Gabba! Continues to Gentrify Sesame Street

Locals Angry as Yo Gabba Gabba! Continues to Gentrify Sesame Street

With the rent in the Yo Gabba Gabba! universe at an all time high, DJ Lance Rock and his crew of robots, cat-dragons, and twenty-something indie bands have relocated to Sesame Street, riling Muppets and earnest adults alike.

The Gabba universe has been taken over by the upper-class. Only the likes of doctors, lawyers, and investment bankers can afford even a mere studio apartment conveniently located on the same island as Mark’s Magic Picture Gallery or Plex’s Keytar Studio. “What is this?” asked Plex, the magic yellow robot. “I have to take the dingy L train for forty minutes to my own studio?”

The inability of Gabba characters to support themselves in their own universe can be largely attributed to their bohemian nature. Most of them graduated from expensive universities, but with liberal arts degrees, and an English Literature major finding a job in today’s crippling economy is as likely as the most strung-out stoner understanding the premise behind Yo Gabba Gabba!. “Why are Hot Hot Heat and Mos Def other hip musical asks frolicking with Elijah Wood a children’s show?” asked Mark, a twenty-four year old “musician” living on his couch.

“It’s a good thing if you ask me” says Karen Stiles— a stay-at-home mom who graduated college just last year and has moved into Foofa’s Bubble Palace, which has been converted into a two-story walk-up. “I was really worried that moving to a big city as a newlywed might be a bit dangerous, but the familiar faces and lack of hippies has been a very nice surprise. In fact, many of Jim’s prep school classmates live in proximity, one even in this building.” “It’s more than a surprise, it’s a gift,” comments Jim, her 62-year-old husband, a VP at Goldman Sachs. “We just need to do something about these bubbles.”

On the other side of the bridge, Sesame Street residents are seeing their rich cultural traditions and ethnically diverse heritage lose out to cyclopses riding fixed gear bikes down the main avenue with cutoff jeans and a cassette player. “Seriously”, says Oscar the Grouch, “I live in a trash can and I still wear jeans that are intact.” Big Bird has apparently moved back home to Virginia, and Bert and Ernie are considering leaving due to the faux-progressivity of the Gabba residents. “We get it, you think it’s awesome that we’re two dudes living together,” says the couple. “We thought people would be over it by now.”

Also, many locals are concerned over the effect the move is having on their children. While the bourgeoisie Yo Gabba Gabbaers all have college educations, they don’t really do much. Jack McBrayer and Paul Sheer can be spotted almost daily at the local coffee shop telling knock knock jokes to each other that aren’t really that funny. Biz Markie seems like he is indifferent to the project, but it is kind of hard to tell because his statements are often very hard to follow. “Oh Snap! Guess what I just saw? A Cookie Monster. That’s crazy!” He seems content as long as he can still make “Biz’s Beat of the Day.” But many locals are getting a lot less content.

-Bijan Samareh is a rising sophomore at Columbia University who writes for Bwog. Check him out on Twitter or in your local community theatre’s production of “Terminator 2”.