When It’s OK to Kick Someone in the Testicles
– If anyone is putting you in a position of peril.
– If you’re trying to get someone to duck quickly should a cannonball, glob of acid, etc. be heading their way.
– If you’re smushing a Black Widow that’s about to bite someone in the testicles.
– If you capture a Gaddafi-type dude it’s probably OK to let ‘em have a swift one.
– If a man smacks you in the boob (I’m told this really hurts).
– If someone has fake testicles and/or a cup on and requests it.
– If someone happens to like getting kicked in the groin and requests it.
When it’s NOT OK to Kick Someone in the Testicles
– If you fall down in a football game, BRIAN.
– If you’re just plain mad.
– If you’re terrible bored.
– If you’re making a political point (the fourth rule from above is exempt).
– If you’re giving someone a next level Hurtz doughnut. Any sort of prank, really.
– If someone calls my description of the pain hyperbole; let them find out organically.
– Most other situations.
Have you ever been kicked in the testicles? How would you describe it? Are there other situations in which testicle kickings can be justified?
Originally published on The Sport Hole as a reaction to football player Brian Robison kicking T.J. Lang in the cock.
Photo by steffenz
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