How old are those pickles?

Why is there a condom floating in your toilet?

Did you know people can see you changing from your window?

What is that smell coming from the shower?

Hey! I sent you this weeks ago, why haven’t you opened it?

Is this your journal? Who is “Ashley?” Why are there hearts around her name?

Did you pay that ticket yet?

Whose blonde hair is this?

Ummm, so, nice book shelf: did you like the first Twilight?

Have you cleaned your sheets since last time I was here?

Don’t you find the giant portrait of Barack Obama overlooking your bed creepy?

How many times have you actually watched your Billy Joel concert DVD?

Will your neighbor hear us?

– Dunstan McGill