We all know that parenthood changes a person—usually for the better. In Jay-Z’s case, the birth of his daughter Blue Ivy Carter means he’ll be toning it down on the song front. The world-renown rapper says he’ll never use misogynistic lyrics again now that he’s father to a precious baby girl—and that includes the word “bitch.” (Mommyish.com)
Incendiary rapper T.I.P. tells XXL that he has decided to suspend his unceasing, brutal criticism of T.I. “That dude,” says T.I.P., “he ain’t so bad. He’s done a lot of good, and a lot of bad, but he’s done his time, and I think we need to start getting along instead of always throwing hate at each other.” The two plan to collaborate on a track where they publicly make peace, confirmed T.I., adding that the track would be produced by Kanye and would likely feature guest appearances by Elton John and Kiki Dee singing the chorus of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.”
Though Toby Keith was initially uneasy when seated on an airplane next to an Iraqi, he says that he got to know the man over the course of the three-hour flight and will be altering the lyrics of his hit song “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue.” He just doesn’t feel right singing “we lit up your world like the Fourth of July” and “we’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way” now that he’s personally acquainted with someone whose family was killed in a U.S. missile attack. Keith says he’s not quite sure what the song’s new theme will be, but he says he’s talking with Costco about turning it into an advertising jingle.
Los Angeles rapper Tweedy Bird Loc has publicly renounced his former hatred for the east coast, saying that two days of tantric sex with an Italian woman from New York has caused his attitude to take a 180-degree turn. Loc says that he’d much prefer to “literally rather than figuratively” fuck the South Bronx. When asked to comment, Loc’s collaborator Lil Eazy E—son of N.W.A. co-founder Eazy-E—said something unprintably obscene.
In a surprise development, U.K. folk-rocker Billy Bragg says he will no longer criticize fascists in his lyrics—because he’s realized that he himself is a fascist. “My son Jack, he’s a teenager now,” said Bragg. “The other night he asked if he could use the car, and when I said no, he called me a bloody fascist. All of a sudden it dawned on me—I am a fascist! I’ve been a fascist my whole life. I’ve always thought that since Woody Guthrie hated fascists, they must be bad, but now I understand: we’re not bad people, we’re just people with strong political views.”
Family-friendly hip-hoppers Koo Koo Kanga Roo are one of the country’s most upbeat music acts, but the National Baking Industry Association says it found a not-so-thinly-veiled message of hate in the duo’s song “No Crust.” A spokesperson for the NBIA explained that “the crust is an indispensable part of the bread slice, and yet Neil Olstad and Bryan Atchison are telling America’s children that it’s perfectly all right to demand of their parents that the crust be severed from the bread before peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are served.” Atchison says he and Olstad are taking the NBIA’s perspective very seriously, but he’s not sure whether the song would still work if the chorus went, “I want a PB&J, and I love the crust! Leave the crust! I love the crust!”
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