Girls: I want to be with you all the time, and I’ve completely negated/discounted the emotional value of my previous relationships, because you are better than my ex. I care enough about you that I would sacrifice something large in my life for your circumstances or goals. I would change a lot of things in my life, even possibly my geographical location or occupation, to sustain this relationship.

When in doubt, I want to keep in constant communication with you, because that is what makes me feel like we’re on the same page, even if our conversation is unproductive. I will continue you share every thought and emotion I have with you in an effort to reach a consensus or conclusion to our problems.

If things between us take a sour turn, I will do anything in my power to keep it around, even if it’s not responsive or at all functioning. I will drag the cold, dead, rotting carcass that formerly housed our relationship through the rain, snow, and mud, across time and space, because I made the decision to invest in you.

When I talk to my friends about us, I will defend this relationship because I perceive that the commitment we’ve made to one another has higher stakes than does my emotional welfare.

Guys: I really care about you but I’m not exactly certain of the limits of what that means. I care about you more than my last girlfriend, and I will try to be better in this relationship than I was in the last.

When in doubt, I will let things cool down and then decide what to do with the ashes left from the inferno. You scare me when you freak out and I end up saying things I think you want to hear because I’m overwhelmed by you.

If things between us take a sour turn, I will want to at least pause it, and possibly end it, because dealing with the death of a relationship is stressful and I don’t always understand you. There are things in my life I’m willing to change if you specifically ask me to change them, but it’s hard for me to sift through a lot of issues and decide what will singularly make our relationship better, and at this point, I’m not certain I want to. If we are fighting this much, isn’t that a sign?

When I talk to my friends about us, I will admit that things are not looking so hot. They will be like, “sorry dude.”

– Ali Kehoe

Photo by Henry 8.0 (Creative Commons)