1. Aggressive Social Media Revenge
Start by blocking this person on all social media networks. They are no longer your Facebook friend, and they no longer have access to your super private Twitter feed that discusses in depth your Adderall abuse and your addiction to Jersey Shore. Then issue a few cryptic messages that discuss your feelings about this person, with key signs that will let privy parties know what’s up. Think a Facebook note about what “true friendship” means, and a tweet rant about liars.
2. Productive Social Media Revenge
You hate this person and you want to see them fail. You’re not sure how to see them fail, exactly, since you’ve vowed never to be in their presence again. The only measure you have is constant social media monitoring of who is more successful. Every day that you have more Facebook fans for your artistic whatever page, Twitter followers and Tumblr reblogs is a success.
3. Revenge via Big Buck Hunter
Show up at their favorite bar and start playing Big Buck Hunter with a purpose while they are watching. When they are enjoying a pitcher of beer, just sit and point the gun at them and glare. They’ll get the hint, and eventually come over for a final battle. The winner will get to call the bar “theirs” for life, and the loser will have to drink tequila shots with hot sauce until he poops his pants.
4. Revenge via Concert Booking
So the person you want revenge against is planning a hot event. Everyone has been talking about it. Obviously what you need to do is plan an even hotter event, on the same night. Pull all the strings you can to grab that slightly more obscure DJ, that singer-songwriter everyone wants to bang and that band that just got “Forkcasted.” Arrange for a drink special with a swear word in the name, like “Fuck Bombs.”
5. Revenge via Sex with Someone at least 1 point Hotter
Now this is a classic type of revenge that goes back to the beginning of time, but millennials put their own spin on it. Shows like Melrose Place have taught us that this experience can be enhanced if it somehow involves someone getting thrown in the pool, a showdown at a birthday party, or dick picks that prove superiority of new mate.
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