samantha from sex and the city: “What are you ladies ordering? Is it just me, or do ‘carrot shoots’ sound deliciously phallic?”
mona from who’s the boss?: “How can you look at the menu and not at our waiter’s sweet tushie?”
blanche from golden girls: “Been there, done that. Honey, that man is all party in the back, with no business in the front.”
betty white from saturday night live: “Oh, you dirty ladies! You’re making me want another good fuck.”
samantha: “When was your last good fuck?”
betty: “Well, a lady doesn’t give details about times or places, but I will say that my cab driver knows how to lick it like a lollipop.”
mona: “Did you get his number?”
blanche: “Honey, if anyone needs a number, it’s not you! Everybody knows you’re still getting it in with your daughter’s housekeeper.”
mona: “I wish! With his new reality show about being a teacher, all he talks about is being a role model for the children. I told him, listen, I don’t need a role model, I need a roll model. R-o-l-l, as in what you do in the hay.”
samantha: “If I may, ladies, I’d like to propose a toast.”
betty: “Yes! A toast!”
blanche: “To what shall we raise our Long Island iced teas, sweeties?”
samantha: “To empowered women! To women who showed America what it means to be frankly lustful!”
mona: “Yes! And never mind what Tina Fey says.”
samantha: “Tina Fey?”
mona: “Oh, you know…that essay where she wrote that ‘the definition of “crazy” in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her any more.’”
blanche: “The problem with that statement is that it only applies to women who people stop wanting to fuck.”
betty: “That’s not a problem for me!”
mona: “Or for me, honey.”
samantha: “But aren’t your characters defined as crazy anyway? Aren’t you comic relief? Aren’t people laughing at the idea of oversexed senior ladies rather than with you?”
betty: “They can laugh all they want. While they laugh, Grandma’s gonna be gettin’ it on all fours.”
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