The following essay is compiled of excerpts from comments on a forum about cats peeing in improper places. Each line has been taken from the original text, which can be found here.

I have had my share of peeing over the years. I had two males who had pissing contests all the time. My bedroom is off limits because I don’t want to sleep with cats walking all over me.

I think cats are just freakishly intelligent and vindictive. Obviously, not every cat will be peeing for the same reasons. Something has happened that has made the cat feel insecure.

Spirit has taken to jumping on top of the stove and peeing in the burners. She should have my life for a week. I’m the one who has a right to pee on the burners, if stress is any excuse. I don’t care about her stress level, what about mine?

She has even pooped when I was six feet away on the computer. I heard a scratching sound on the hardwood floor and looked to see her covering.

She’s 13 and I just deal. She’s trying to communicate something to me but I’ll be damned if I know what.

I stopped having overnight guests, or guests at all. I stayed at Caesar’s Palace a few months ago and they had a down comforter on the bed. I thought I died and went to heaven. Five minutes after I closed my eyes, and BANG! my wife felt wet in her feet. Not good to be awakened at 3:00 in the morning to a man screaming because he has just fallen exhausted into a pool of cold cat pee. We found our bed covered in about four poop piles and several pee spots.

WHO is in charge here? Last night I woke up to my cat talking to another cat outside. I’m a fan of using antidepressants when nothing else will work. Just thought I’d add my two cents worth on Prozac.

Perhaps it was the pill, or perhaps it was coincidence, but I never had a problem after giving him this pill. I used my grocery money to pay the last vet bill. She had kitty grass and bonito flakes. She is a well behaved little girl until she pees on the bed.

God bless you guys for putting up with such behavior from the cats. My answer is get rid of the problem.

–Jason Zabel‘s kitty recently had an incident