I get a happy feeling when watching infomercials. They are a playplace of miraculous noodles, people whose buttons have popped off their pants, mothers stuck in bathtubs. But sometimes I feel that the products are spun to be … how should I say … less stupid than they are. Here is what I would have named these products.
Cami Secret: Boob Doily
Shake Weight: Dick Jiggler
Shake Weight Men’s: Gay Dick Jiggler
Wonder File: 1960’s iPad
Slap Chop: Hooker Beater’s Aggression Sublimation Device
Butt Face Towel: Woman Repellant. (As a gift: Relationship Ender)
Fake TV: Alien Communication Device?
Bark Off: Dog Remote
Bump It: Snookifier
– Becky Lang kind of wants a Chef Basket
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