Shut the Hell Up About How Stupid Black Friday Is

Shut the Hell Up About How Stupid Black Friday Is


I am not at a store right now. I have not been at a store at any time today, and I do not intend to visit any store today—except maybe for a liquor store. But good grief, people, you need to SHUT THE HELL UP with your snooty comments/tweets/posts about how stupid Black Friday is. Here’s why:

It’s boring.

There are millions of people complaining today about how stupid Black Friday is, and anyone who’s listening to/following you has probably correctly guessed how you feel about it. Do you really need to jump on the bandwagon? Is there really that much danger that anyone might think you’ve been eagerly anticipating this day for months?

It’s classist.

With planning, it’s possible to easily save hundreds of dollars via Black Friday specials. For a lot of families, that’s a lot of money. Of course there are many people who shop on Black Friday purely for fun, but it seems awfully privileged to sit there and scorn people who are out taking advantage of very low prices on common household goods. I actually saw a retweet of this, shortly after midnight: “If we would just drop bombs on all the Wal-Marts across the country right now, the crime rate would go down 75%.”

The ridiculousness is part of the point.

Generalizing about Black Friday shoppers by saying they’re just out for deals on things they don’t need reflects a lack of imagination about why people do what they do. Of course it’s ridiculous to make a line around the block to get into Target at midnight on a Thursday night; that’s a big part of the point. Families and friends go out and make a party of Black Friday shopping; they bring fortification and make battle plans and probably have a really great time at it. What’s more ridiculous: having fun and getting great deals, or sitting at home scowling and complaining about people you don’t even know doing what they want to do and not hurting you or anyone else?

Welcome to the human race.

You know what? Millions and millions of people every day do a lot of shit that’s a lot stupider than shopping on Black Friday. If you have a specific complaint about a specific shopper who trampled your kitten, fine. If you have a substantive observation about the dangers of unregulated markets, go for it. But if you’re just going to harumph about people being dumb, go stick your head in the oven with the turkey. We’re human beings, and this is how we roll.

Jay Gabler

  • Jay Gabler says SELL OUT

    Yeah it’s not ridicoulus that people act like animals shooting each other, using pepper spray on each other, or trampling each other to get a few bucks off some shit they don’t really need. Yeah that makes perfect sense. People acting like assholes in the name of SHOPPING is perfectly fine, and we should never question their motives, but the moment they do something “ridiculous” like protest corporate greed to petition the government for a redress of grievances in public by all means call the riot police to beat the shit out of them because they didn’t have their credit cards ready for BIG STORE profits. It’s not ok to camp in public and stand up for your rights, thats silly, you should understand that’s only a right if BIG BUSSINESS stand to make any money off it.

  • MagicDrumSticks

    You do realize that by making this post, you are showing that you are hyprocrite, right?

  • bfridaysucks

    Complaining about complaints. Now this is annoying.

  • DHS

    Black Friday is for people who don’t save money for things they WANT. They are there for cheap things they WANT not NEED.

  • Brian

    Black Friday is fucking stupid. IT’S FUCKING STUPID! DEEEERP! Let’s kill people for a great deal! DERP!

    There, I said it. DEAL WITH IT.

  • Militia

    Black Friady is a good way to turn people into bunch of dumb,crazy animals. Yes, animals! They become a flock and easy to control. Their intellect fall to a minimum, so they become capable of fighting for a dogshit, just being told it is cheap. And companies earn billions. Keep on being sheep.