ROLLCALL!!! Who’s going to Flora’s tnt?!?

wutttt (@ Flora’s Pimp Palace w/ 23 others) http://4sq.com/gverdi

Flora’s showing waaaaaaaay too much leg in that dress. Put those cankles away, please. #realtalk

Everybody here is talking about Violetta and Alfredo breaking up. V’s maid texted me that news like, four hours ago.

Should I tell Gastone I had a sex dream about him last night? It was hot.

Flora’s parties are never as epic as Violetta’s were, but at least Flora doesn’t skimp on the #juice. #whyimhere

SCREAM!!! #floraparty has a tweet wall. LOL OMG WTF WUT JK GTFO FML

Totally just ate half the shrimp tree #layoffmeimstarving #floraparty

Alfredo just showed up, alone. He’ll probs try to buy drugs off me.

Oh SHIT. Flora hired dancing gypsies, guys. #floraparty

These gypsies are whatevs. Gimme matadors. #floraparty

Oh Jesus epic Christ. She sprung for the matadors. #imsprungtoo #floraparty

Wouldn’t mind if one of these matadors pointed his sword at me. #totallyaeuphemism

Was getting ready to bolt for neddies, but then V. & the Baron walked in. This is getting good.

OMFG, Alfredo just asked me if I had any weed. #totallycalledit

Flora! Tell your people to hurry up refilling the #juice jugs. Wanna watch Alfredo & Baron play cards.

GTF away from me, skanky Gypsy. Believe it or not, there are guys who don’t want to bang you. #realtalk

Alfredo’s winning big. Baron is PISSED. Violetta’s crying. I’m drunk. #floraparty

Totally just ate half a cheese log #layoffmeimstarving #floraparty

Glad Violetta’s back with the Baron. That way he’ll stop hitting on me. #realtalk

Shit’s going down in the hall. Will go check it out soonz ah refill mah #juicecup

Ha ha! Violetta’s crying on the floor. What a drama queen. #justsayin

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! Alfredo just threw all his money at Violetta! No way he’s getting laid tonight.

Wait, wut?!?! This old guy bitching Alfredo out is his DAD?!? #barrassing

NBD, Alfredo and the Baron are just going to duel to the death. #socliche

Uhhhhh judging by the blood Violetta just coughed into her hankie, these guys won’t be fighting over her for long. #consumptionjunction

OH MY FUCKING GOD the matadors just invited me into their tent #hopethatsaeuphemism

– Jay Gabler, inspired by the Minnesota Opera’s production of La Traviata and by the real-life tweets of John James Wallace. Photos: La Traviata by Michal Daniel, John James Wallace by Erik Hess.