Writer, age 7. My first memory of wanting to be something was in second grade, and I wanted to write books. I practiced by writing sto..
Listening to The Bodyguard soundtrack
Fantasizing about kidnapping Kevin Costner
Idly contemplating opening a school ..
1. Fall 1993. My family and I had just moved to Gothenburg from the only slightly larger central Nebraska town Grand Island. We didn’t a..
I think boys are neat. I think interesting boys are neat. I am not the least bit attracted to the typical Holy Trinity of tanned, muscular..
1. I dress like a fourteen year old boy. Fashion isn’t exactly my forte, as evidenced by the stack of nine boyfriend-style t-shirts from T..
Dickbag – Similar to a douchebag, in that both are assholes, but different in that whereas douchebags are dumb and their baggery is ag..
I was too neurotic as a little girl to have conceptualized of marriage in any normal sort of way. While my fellow vagina’d compatriots..
Who let the dogs out? It was actually a dog. The “leader of the pack” had been planning their escape for months. It involved hard spag..
Woah there, ___(powerful animal)___, chill out for a second. I appreciate your ___(adjective)___, but I think it’d be best if you kep..
Students are like cereals. There are lots of different kinds over wide varieties, but they all generally have the same thing in common..
Can hypnotize polar bears with one gaze
Turns naughty children into salt statues